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Better Sex is a sex podcast focused on helping all couples create and enjoy their best possible sex life. Jessa Zimmerman is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. She and her expert guests share their insights, strategies and ways of thinking about sex that will help you improve your intimate relationship, whether you have sexual struggles or are just looking to make your sex life even better.

In this podcast for couples, each episode will dive into one topic related to sex. Some will be devoted to addressing sexual concerns like sexual dysfunction, differences in sexual desire, and intimacy problems. Some will help you develop realistic and helpful expectations. And some will offer information and approaches that can just make your sex life better. Some episodes feature personal stories from regular people who are struggling with sex or who have overcome difficulties.

The information and discussion on the podcast should not be taken as medical advice or as therapy. Please seek out qualified professionals for medical and therapeutic advice.

About Jessa Zimmerman

Jessa Zimmerman is a couples counselor and AASECT certified sex therapist in private practice in Seattle, WA. In her work, she helps couples who have a good relationship but who are avoiding sex because it's become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured.

She is passionate about helping couples create their very best possible sex life. She started this podcast in an effort to bring information and inspiration to anyone looking to enjoy better sex with their partner.

Episodes

#50: Dr. Beverly Whipple – Female Orgasm, The G Spot, and Ejaculation

How Dr. Beverly Whipple Started Studying Sex Dr. Whipple got her start while she was teaching nursing students. A sexual topic was broached that she didn’t have concrete answers for, and so she gave the inquisitive student a rain check. She then realized sex classes needed to be taught and that she wanted to be …

#49: Stephen [Personal Story] – Tantra for Healing

It is time for another personal story. As always, on my show, I like to shine a spotlight on important stories from people who need to tell them. These personal stories offer fresh perspectives on subjects that should be discussed, listened to, ponder over, and written about. And my guest has a story that to …

#48: Ian Kerner – She Comes First

The True Meaning of ‘Cliteracy’ Starting with a discussion of his book, She Comes First, Ian Kerner’s coined word ‘cliteracy’ is given more thought and emphasis. Overall, the term encapsulates the aim of his bestselling book. He relays to listeners his previously one-sided mentalities towards sex, his struggles, and his overall motivations for becoming “cliterate” …

#47: Jessa – Expectations are the Problem

The Sexual Avoidance Cycle Revisited: The Dangers of ‘Sexpectations’ Today we are going to revisit the Sexual Avoidance Cycle; more specifically, we are going to talk about the Disappointment Phase of the Cycle in order to pinpoint the harmful effects of expectations. That is, what happens when we have grand visions and plans for a …

#46: Dr. Tina Sellers – Sex, God, and the Conservative Church

Overcoming Sexual Shame In her work, Sellers places considerable emphasis on reversing sexual shame in her clients’ and readers’ minds. Growing up in a sexually-open environment, with parents who were very transparent about sexual function, health, and education, Tina learned the importance of communication over the suppression of sexual fact. And by extension, she is …

#45: Pia [Personal Story] – Parent of a Trans Teen

Parenting a trans teen Pia is the mother of a transgender child (now twenty years old) who underwent a successful physical transition into his male self. Pia’s love for her kid and overall emotional resiliency shines through when she recounts the details of her child’s story. An advocate of providing a strong support system for …

#44: Paul Joannides – The Guide to Getting It On

The Guide to Getting It On: A Self-Published Phenomenon If there was ever an excuse to self-publish a book, The Guide is a great example of how successful one can be using the practice. After Paul had taken nine years to finish the first draft of what would become The Guide To Getting It On, …

#43: Jenny Berk – Body Image

Our Body Image: Is it Environmentally Reinforced? To start this episode, Jenny shares her fascination for the “etiology” (origin) of our body image. That is, when did we first become self-conscious about our bodies? Jenny states that she did over sixty interviews during the research stage of The Body Image Blueprint and the answer she …

#42: Suzanna Mathews – Cougar-Cub Relationships

Using the Term “Cougar” To start this episode, Suzanna talks about the negative connotations surrounding the title “cougar.” There are considerable allusions to predatory behavior when the term is brought up. Of course, Suzanna was well aware of this and after much deliberation, she decided to still include the oft-controversial “cougar” in the subtitle of …

#41: Peggy Bennett – Matchmaking

Basics of Matchmaking School Listen in as Peggy describes her learning experience at the Matchmaking Institute of New York. What do you need to pay attention to when matchmaking? Peggy details that listening carefully during one-on-one sessions and making sure to take care of the business are essential.

#40: Jessa Zimmerman [Soapbox] – Sexual Avoidance Cycle

The Sexual Avoidance Cycle is far more common than many would believe, and I talk about this situation, what causes it and perpetuates its continuance. I also answer the first of my listener questions during this “Soapbox” episode where I get to help you understand this important topic.

#39: Heather [Personal Story] – Sexual Trauma & Awakening

A personal story of trauma and awakening Listen to the story of Heather and her traumatic experiences which led to her transformative journey in her own life. She grew up feeling like an outsider with feelings of inadequacy. Hear Heather describe her struggles that initially presented in her young life and how these difficulties led …

#38: Dr. Steven Davidson – Pornography

Pornography – the good and the bad Listen to the discussion of the role of Erotica and Pornography in a relationship and the positive and negative impacts. Defining Pornography What is the definition of pornography? Listen as Steven succinctly describes pornography and erotica and the overlapping interpretations of arousing materials. Hear the use and role …

#37: Lara Currie – Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations as an opportunity? Challenge as an opportunity? Listen as Lara describes the context of conflict. She discusses how the components of assumption, judgment and expectation lead to a reaction.

#36: Rebecca Coffey – Evolution and Sexual Behavior

Evolutionary Psychology and Sex In this episode, Rebecca tells us about Evolutionary Psychology, examining our roles and interactions through a biological and historical lens. Listen in as she compares our human proclivities to our great ape relatives.

#35: [Personal Story] Marina – Journey of Liberation

A personal story of sexual liberation In this episode, I talk to Marina, who shares her personal journey from struggles with her self-image and a painful first sexual experience, to finally feeling liberated with a happier sex life. The first time: a painful experience As a teenager, Marina tells us that she struggled with self-image …

#34: Katie Zvolerin – Adam & Eve

History of Adam & Eve, A Sex Toy Retailer Listen in as Katy discusses how Adam & Eve started out. She mentions it was just a thesis requirement to complete the founder Phil Harvey’s Master’s Degree.

#33: Dr. Laurie Mintz – The Orgasm Gap

Becoming Cliterate Dr. Laurie shares the reason behind why she wrote her book, Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters–And How to Get It. As a professor to over 150 students a year, she shares the influence her undergrad students had on this book. Two factors that ultimately influenced her was the massive orgasm gap in …

#32: Beth Liebling – Darling Way

The Store: Darling Way In this episode, Beth talks about how she started and founded the Darling Way after her 22-year marriage ended with a divorce. She shares how her shop started after an awful experience buying a lingerie for herself. Her store’s concept is about embracing the fact that it’s okay to be silly, …

#31: [Personal Story] Anca – A Recovering People Pleaser

Recovering from people pleasing Today's guest is sharing her story of claiming her story, rewriting her story, figuring out which parts she wants in, and which parts no longer serve her.

#30: Tamara Powell – Polyamory

Polyamory – one version of consensual non-monogamy. There are certainly plenty of people that choose an open relationship of one sort or another. Even though they're committed to each other, but by agreement, they are non-monogamous. Often what we're referring to is people that have been committed and decide to change the arrangement and include …

#29: Maegan Megginson – Female Sexual Pain

Welcome to Better Sex. Today we are covering an important and pervasive topic. We're going to talk about female sexual pain, a woman's sexual pain. Way too many people struggle with painful conditions and most of them don't know what to do about it.

#28: Brodie Welch – Holistic Approaches to Libido

Today’s episode features Brodie Welch, a Chinese Medicine expert who helps us to recognize that from a Chinese medicine perspective, everything is energy, and sexual energy is an important subset of our total sum of energy reserves. We cover how to apply all areas of the Chinese medicinal branches, the original body/mind/spirit medicine, into our …

#27: [Personal Story] Jenn – Trauma & Infertility, Fortunate Healing

Today’s personal story features Jenn, a 47-year-old woman who has undergone more than her fair share of stressful events during her life. From being molested as a child and losing her virginity to date rape, to facing repeated infertility issues, miscarriages and finally a hysterectomy. We cover how all these events affected her relationship with …

#26: Melissa Walker – Healing Our Sexual Fragmentation

Correction: I mis-spoke in my introduction to the episode. Melissa is not yet certified as a sex therapist. I apologize for any confusion. Sexual Fragmentation – what is it and how does it show up in sex therapy? Tune in today to learn about how Melissa defines fragmentation as it applies to sex therapy work, …

#25: Amanda Laird – Menstruation and Sexual Health

Amanda’s interest in menstrual health began as early as her childhood. Today she passionately shares her wisdom about how women should have knowledge of how their bodies work and, with this, feel empowered to talk about menstruation and sex without feeling ashamed.

#24: Stacy Fisher-Gunn – The Importance of Self-Care

What is self-care? Tune in to hear Stacy’s definition of self-care: what it looks like and how it relates to all areas of life, not only with regards to physical health but mental and emotional health as well. Stacy reveals what percentage of health care issues come back to self-care, and talks about its relevance …

#23: Dr. Serena Fiacco – Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy

What is pelvic floor physical therapy? Dr. Fiacco kicks off by telling us exactly what pelvic floor physical therapy is; explaining about the basic musculature of the pelvic area and what kind of health issues can stem from this region, including some unexpected areas of the body that may present with problems that actually arise …

#22: Dr. Renee Flores – Sex and Sexuality in the Elderly

Sex in the elder years In today's episode, we look at sex and sexuality in the elderly. It is a common misconception that people are no longer sexually active as they grow older and Dr. Flores will be sharing her thoughts on this with us so enjoy the insights!

#21: [Personal Story] Nancy & Frank – A Perfect Storm

Frank was raised in a conservative home that placed a noose of fear and shame around sex. After a decade of fantasizing about sex, Frank married in his late 20’s and recalls the awkwardness about it. Sexuality was a very taboo topic in Frank's life and this carried into both his marriages. Nancy had issues …

#20: Dr. Stephen Snyder – Why Social Media is Making Sex Obsolete

Social Media is making sex obsolete. Dr. Stephen Snyder shares a shocking statistic that reveals the drop in the sexual interaction between people. He unpacks his very interesting theory on why this is. In this episode, you will hear about why people have sex and the influence of social media and technology on their motivation …

#19: Robin LaCross – Talking to Kids About Sex

How do you talk to kids about sex? In today’s episode, Robin LaCross and I discuss talking about sex to kids. Robin shares the childhood experiences that drew her to her purpose. She reveals the impact of a book about natural family planning, that raised many questions for her. Her curiosity led her to find …

#18: Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh – A New Perspective on Passion

How important is passion? The place of Love across cultures In this episode of Better Sex, Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh unwraps her theory of love in two categories: submergent and emergent. She describes the difference between the two and how cultures have different expectations about love and passion. She dissects each journey and love cycle as …

#17: Jennifer Valli – Men's Sexual Concerns and Solutions

Men's sexual health concerns often stem from the pressure of expectations In today’s episode, Jessa and Jennifer Valli talk about men’s sexual health concerns and dysfunctions (men being defined as people who have been raised male and who have a penis) and approaches to make sex easier and stress-free.

#16: Heather Edwards – Vino and Vulvas

Vino & Vulvas  – A community conversation about sex Today I am delighted to have Heather Edwards, who has been a pelvic physical therapist for 14 years and is currently completing the University of Michigan’s Certificate Program in Sex Counseling and Education. In 2015 she founded Vino & Vulvas, an inclusive, public, monthly event that …

#15: [Personal Story] Alli – Sexual Trauma

Triumph after sexual trauma This is the first in a new series of episodes where I will be talking to real people sharing real stories. On this episode, I am joined by Alli, a recovering overachiever who has learned to let go of society's expectations and step into alignment with her true self.

#14: Marc Gilmartin – Out of Control Sexual Behavior & Erotic Conflict

Out of control sexual behavior or sex addiction Are you concerned about your own sexual behavior in relation to your values?Do you wonder if your sexual behavior is out of control? Are you or someone you love worried that you have a sex addiction? You cannot afford to miss this episode with guest Marc Gilmartin. …

#13: Jeni Dahn – Energy and Sex

I'm excited about the topic for this episode. We're going to be talking about both Masculine and Feminine Energy. I'm talking about this because it's relevant to sex and to our lives in general.

#12: Jill Angelo – Genneve, Support for Women in Midlife and Menopause Solutions

I'm revisiting a topic that we talked about in a previous episode, which is menopause  This time it's not so much from the medical standpoint or a provider's standpoint. It's more about the invisibility that tends to happen in that time of life: the lack of information, the lack of support, the lack of understanding …

#11: Tammy Senn – Postpartum Sexuality, Listen to Your Body

Well, the last episode of my podcast was about pregnancy and sexuality, and it seemed to make sense to go right into the next obvious topic, which is postpartum sexuality. Talk about a lot of change to adjust to! You've got not only the physical impact of carrying and birthing a baby, but you've got …

#10: Aleece Fosnight – Pregnancy and Sexuality, How to Enhance and What to Avoid

Today's topic is pregnancy and sexuality. It's just not talked about very often, and if you have been pregnant or if you have been a partner with somebody that's pregnant, you may have noticed that the doctors often don't ask or talk about sex.

#9: Anna Joy Reedy – Platonic Cuddling and Healing Touch Therapy

I give a lot of thought to what makes a great sex life. What makes us sex life healthy, what makes it enjoyable for people, what makes it fulfilling? When I consider the kinds of things that matter, I think about the ability to slow down and be present in the moment. I think about …

#8: Jessica Butts – Do Opposites Attract? How Different Personality Types Affect Your Sex Life

I often hear from clients about how much they struggle when they're different from each other. In the beginning, we were attracted to this other way of being. We were interested because this person was so different from us. But what  intrigued us in the beginning is what often drives us nuts later in the relationship. …

#7: Dr. Stephanie Ring – Menopause: Understanding the Inevitable

As I was putting the podcast together, I put out a little survey to my subscribers asking what kinds of topics people wanted me to cover. While it is not the most frequent presenting concern in my practice, the most frequent request I got in terms of what to talk about on the show was …

#6: Sallie Foley – Sex Therapy: What is it?

So why is today's show about sex therapy? Well, because I'm a certified sex therapist and I know that a lot of people listening don't know what that means. There is confusion about what sex therapy is and what a sex therapist does.

#5: Matthias Rose – Tantra, A Beautiful Integration of Personal Strength, Sexual Power, and Emotional Connection

Tantra offers a lot of gifts. It can help  you be present. It can increase your sense of connection. It can lead you to a greater understanding of who you are in your physical body.

#4: Dr. Joe Kort – “Is My Husband Gay?” | Male Sexual Fluidity

What are we talking about? Men who have sex with men, have done it in the past or who are interested in it, but still identify as straight or mostly straight. However, their behavior or their interest makes their partner wonder about their sexuality.

#3: Parke Burgess – The Virus Known As Shame

Shame. We're not born with it but it is given to us at a very early age. And we unwittingly pass it along to others.

#2: Edy Nathan – Grief, Sex, and Life

Sexual changes throughout life are not always looked at as moments of grief. But, they certainly are and even if they seem small, they can add up to bigger, more powerful moments.

#1: Sar Surmick – Sexual Consent, Did They Say “No?”

Consent is all over the news right now. Or, at least, lack of consent is all over the news. From politicians to movie stars, people are being accused of sexual assault and harassment. This makes the conversation about consent all the more timely.

Guest inquiry

I am interested in having guests on the show who can share expertise or insight into a wide variety of topics that relate to better sex. I'd love to hear from you if you think you might be a good fit.

 

I will get back to you if I can host you on an episode and will provide a link to schedule the interview.