Home

Just $2 per month gets you advance access to each episode. 

Better Sex is a sex podcast focused on helping all couples create and enjoy their best possible sex life. Jessa Zimmerman is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. She and her expert guests share their insights, strategies and ways of thinking about sex that will help you improve your intimate relationship, whether you have sexual struggles or are just looking to make your sex life even better.

In this podcast for couples, each episode will dive into one topic related to sex. Some will be devoted to addressing sexual concerns like sexual dysfunction, differences in sexual desire, and intimacy problems. Some will help you develop realistic and helpful expectations. And some will offer information and approaches that can just make your sex life better. Some episodes feature personal stories from regular people who are struggling with sex or who have overcome difficulties.

The information and discussion on the podcast should not be taken as medical advice or as therapy. Please seek out qualified professionals for medical and therapeutic advice.

About Jessa Zimmerman

Jessa Zimmerman is a couples counselor and AASECT certified sex therapist in private practice in Seattle, WA. In her work, she helps couples who have a good relationship but who are avoiding sex because it's become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured.

She is passionate about helping couples create their very best possible sex life. She started this podcast in an effort to bring information and inspiration to anyone looking to enjoy better sex with their partner.

Episodes

#81: August McLaughlin – Girl Boner

Girl Boner – A Story of Empowerment  My guest is August McLaughlin. She is a celebrated health and sexuality writer, the creator of Girl Boner, wrote a book with the same name, and is a fellow podcaster!   As she states during the talk, her experience with sexual education was very lacking and lopsided. From an …

#80: [Soapbox] – Desire Discrepancy Issues and Strategies

Desire Discrepancy may or may not be a term that you've heard. This is where two different people want different amounts of sex. There's a discrepancy between your desire and your partner’s. This is universal. It happens all the time, and it is a problem for a lot of people. In this episode, I’m going …

#79: Dr. Sharon Cohen – Feminine Energy

All about Feminine Energy  My guest Sharon Cohen, PhD has been working in the mental health field for over 25 years. She has also specialized in love and relationships for the past 7 years, but as she states during the interview, she has always been passionate about the subject.   Her main clientele is women in …

#78: [Soapbox] – Sexual Satisfaction Scale

Because there have been so many great guests and conversations on the show, it has been awhile since we’ve done a soapbox episode. In this soapbox, Jessa talks about measuring sexual satisfaction in a way that is meaningful to you.  While host Jessa was doing her continued education (as sex therapists are required to do), she …

#77: How Childbirth Affects Men – Dr. Amy Gilliland

Men and childbirth  My guest is Dr. Amy Gilliland, Ph.D., ADVCD/BDT(DONA), CSE (AASECT). She is a doula, an AASECT certified sexual educator, and her work has been extensively shared and published in many prestigious academic journals on the subject of sexuality and various aspects of childbirth.  This episode largely deals with men (with female birthing partners) …

#76: Sexuality and Spirituality – Tina Schermer Sellers and Kamara McAndews

Intimacy that Includes Mind, Body, Heart and Spirit  My guests are Tina Schermer Sellers and Kamara McAndrews, and together they are sharing the important work of Gina Odgen who passed away last year. Gina herself was a sexual educator and researcher who explored the intersection of sexuality and spirituality. From it came the 4-D wheel of mind, body, heart, …

#75: Feminine and Fulfilled – Shazia Imam

Feminine and Fulfilled  My guest Shazia Imam works with women who are looking to access and unlock their deepest desires and power. She is very skilled at inspiring women to chase their desires once they have figured them out. Shazia does transformational life coaching, she worked as an engineer before shifting careers, and she has a great story to …

#74: Yes Brain in the Bedroom – Heidi Crockett

About Heidi Crockett  My guest is Heidi Crockett. She is a highly qualified sexual health educator and speaker on stress and sex. She is also the author of The Neuroscience of Dating and Caregiver Stress: Neurobiology to the Rescue. In addition, Heidi is a licensed psychotherapist and studied sexual health postgraduate at the University of Michigan.  In this episode, …

#73 – Jim Fleckenstein – Consensual Non-Monogamy

Consensual Non-Monogamy  My guest is Jim Fleckenstein. He is a coach and educator on sexuality. He is also a researcher who focuses predominantly on non-exclusive relationships and how they affect the individuals involved. He is an expert in consensual non-monogamy and a wellspring of knowledge and insight, which he graciously shares in this episode. Jim …

#72: Amy Lang – Signs of sexual abuse in children

Signs of sexual trauma in children  My guest for this episode is Amy Lang: she has been teaching sex for over 25 years now with an emphasis on teaching kids about sexuality in an effective, healthy way. Amy has a Master’s degree in Applied Behavioral Science. She started her foray into sexual education as a hobby, but she …

#71: Dr. Sheila Addison – Transgender/Cisgender Relationships

Dr. Sheila Addison: when your partner is transgender  This episode is a wealth of information. It is delivered by the expert guidance of guest Dr. Sheila Addison and covers many important elements of transgender and cisgender relationships, the transgender community in general, post-surgery sex, sex between cisgender and transgender partners, how identities are designated at …

#70: DJ Burr [Personal Story] – Recovery Saved My Life

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, it is my honor to welcome DJ as he shares his personal journey with you. Having people come in and share the details of their life is one of the best parts of this platform! DJ is a therapist who works in the Seattle area. He specifically …

#69: Dr. Lori Brotto – Mindfulness and Sex

My guest is Dr. Lori Brotto. She works at the University of British Columbia Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Lori has a Ph.D. in psychology with an emphasis in psychophysiology. She is a practicing psychologist and also spearheads a lab, which focuses on mindfulness-based approaches for the sexual health of women. And within this episode, …

#68: Rachel Keller & Beverly Dale – Sex Positivity in the Christian Faith

Sexual Health within the Christian Faith Starting with a little background on Rachel, she is a psychotherapist who works with clients who have experienced trauma and in sexuality in general. When considering her certification, she has been certified through AASECT and is a part of the American Academy of Psychotherapists. Rachel has long been equal …

#67: Alice Little – Legal Sex Work

An Intimate Conversation with a Legal Sex WorkerMy guest, Alice Little, works at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada, which is a legal brothel and where she has worked for the last three years. And as she states during the interview, before she became a courtesan at the Bunny Ranch, she was a sex educator. …

#66: Pam Costa – Women Talking About Sex

The importance of talking about sexMy guest, Pam Costa, spent a decade-and-a-half at both Apple and Facebook. After having a life-changing experience with a sex therapist during a session, she realized that a transition to sex therapy was where she belonged.

#65: Lara McElderry – Prioritizing Intimacy

My guest Lara McElderry knows all about the struggles of being married to a surgeon: the crazy hours, the extensive amount of time spent in training, and the toll it can take on any relationship dynamic. And in this episode, she offers up her time and provides some tips and advice for those who might …

#64: Stephanie Buehler – Fertility Issues and Sex

My guest on today’s show is Stephanie Buehler. She’s a licensed therapist, AASECT certified sex therapist, a graduate of UCLA and Pepperdine (among others), and a best-selling writer who has authored many enlightening books on sexuality and sex therapy, including intimacy in particular which her book Counseling Couples Before, During, and After Pregnancy: Sexuality and …

#63: Ellen Dechesne – Third Stage Sex

As my guest Ellen Dechesne relates during this episode, sex in your later years, what is defined as the ‘third stage’ of your life, is a very important and relevant topic to consider.

#62: Mariah Freya – Conscious Sex

My guest is Mariah Freya, the founder of Beducated.com, which is a website and repository of online courses, resources, and tantric-infused concepts for more conscious sex. And today, Mariah stops by to share with you and demystify Yoni and Lingam massage, various aspects of how to have more conscious sex, and ultimately achieve what she calls …

#61: Dr. Valerie Rein – Patriarchal Stress Disorder

My guest for this episode is Dr. Valerie Rein. She is an author, psychologist, and in addition, founded Her Genius, Inc. Through her work, she has coined the term Patriarchal Stress Disorder to capture and reflect upon the historical dynamic of predominantly patriarchal power structures throughout time. And more specifically, how patriarchy has negatively affected …

#60: Dr. Mark Schoen – SexSmartFilms

My guest is Mark Schoen. He is a prolific sex-education filmmaker–he has made over 50 of them!–and still very productive and skilled at his important work in the industry. As his focus attests, educating the general public about sexual topics is always necessary. We can never have enough sexual education throughout the world, so what …

#59: Carolina Vee [Personal Story] – Permission to Love Herself

My guest for this episode is Carolina Vee. She has an extremely important story to tell and we are so privileged to have her on the show. As a victim of sexual abuse, it took a long time for Carolina to untangle the knotted aspects of her life. She sought healing, self-forgiveness, absolution from self-directed …

#58: Steph Auteri – A Dirty Word

My guest Steph has been writing about sexuality for more than fifteen years. She generally writes about sex education, rape culture, and perceptions regarding female sexuality. Her book A Dirty Word: How a Sex Writer Reclaimed Her Sexuality is an autobiography about the sexual abuse she was victim to, but it also encompasses a lot …

#57: Stan Tatkin – We Do

Stan Tatkin is the founder of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®(PACT). He has worked with couples for more than fifteen years in his clinical practice. He teaches, he counsels, he writes, he does it all! Stan has authored a few very important books throughout his career, some of them including: Wired for Love, Your …

#56: Amanda Testa – Feminine Fire

My guest Amanda Testa is an expert in sex and love. She is the founder of Find Your Feminine Fire, which is a program that combines concepts from neuroscience and tantra. Utilizing her coaching experience and knowledge in the field, she aims to empower women to be more confident and sexually expressive.

#55: Lisa Diamond – Female Sexual Fluidity

Today, Lisa Diamond tells us about her past and present research on sexual fluidity. Lisa M. Diamond is Professor of Psychology and Gender Studies at the University of Utah. Her research focuses on the development and dynamic expression of sexual identity and orientation over the life course, the influences of early life experiences on psychosocial …

#54: Emily [Personal Story] – Asking for What You Want

Bi-Sexual AwakeningAs early as 10 or 11, Emily felt that she was bi-sexual. Listen as she describes her evolution of feelings, relationships, and sexual interactions. Coming of AgeAt the age of 16, Emily felt ready for sex. Listen as she discusses her life experience in a small-town community. This smaller atmosphere created a sense of …

#53: Daniela Wittmann – Prostate Cancer and Sex

My guest Daniela Wittmann is an expert on prostate health and urology. In fact, she is a very prominent member of the Prostate Cancer Survivorship Program; in addition, she is an associate professor of Urology and Social Work in the University of Michigan Health System. In this interview, she informs listeners on prostate health and …

#52: Jessa Zimmerman [Soapbox] – Changing Your Mindset

In this episode we talk about changing your mindset about sex and about relationships. This episode will challenge your ideas about roles in a relationship and describe a list of new rules to follow that may replace some assumptions that could be getting in your way.

#51: Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are

The Motivation for Come As You AreMy guest today is Emily Nagoski, the acclaimed author of the best selling book, Come as You Are. As Emily relates, the motivation to write her best-selling book has a very prominent beginning. It was the first day of the semester and Emily was beginning her usual Anatomy class. …

#50: Dr. Beverly Whipple – Female Orgasm, The G Spot, and Ejaculation

How Dr. Beverly Whipple Started Studying Sex Dr. Whipple got her start while she was teaching nursing students. A sexual topic was broached that she didn’t have concrete answers for, and so she gave the inquisitive student a rain check. She then realized sex classes needed to be taught and that she wanted to be …

#49: Stephen [Personal Story] – Tantra for Healing

It is time for another personal story. As always, on my show, I like to shine a spotlight on important stories from people who need to tell them. These personal stories offer fresh perspectives on subjects that should be discussed, listened to, ponder over, and written about. And my guest has a story that to …

#48: Ian Kerner – She Comes First

The True Meaning of ‘Cliteracy’ Starting with a discussion of his book, She Comes First, Ian Kerner’s coined word ‘cliteracy’ is given more thought and emphasis. Overall, the term encapsulates the aim of his bestselling book. He relays to listeners his previously one-sided mentalities towards sex, his struggles, and his overall motivations for becoming “cliterate” …

#47: Jessa – Expectations are the Problem

The Sexual Avoidance Cycle Revisited: The Dangers of ‘Sexpectations’ Today we are going to revisit the Sexual Avoidance Cycle; more specifically, we are going to talk about the Disappointment Phase of the Cycle in order to pinpoint the harmful effects of expectations. That is, what happens when we have grand visions and plans for a …

#46: Dr. Tina Sellers – Sex, God, and the Conservative Church

Overcoming Sexual Shame In her work, Sellers places considerable emphasis on reversing sexual shame in her clients’ and readers’ minds. Growing up in a sexually-open environment, with parents who were very transparent about sexual function, health, and education, Tina learned the importance of communication over the suppression of sexual fact. And by extension, she is …

#45: Pia [Personal Story] – Parent of a Trans Teen

Parenting a trans teen Pia is the mother of a transgender child (now twenty years old) who underwent a successful physical transition into his male self. Pia’s love for her kid and overall emotional resiliency shines through when she recounts the details of her child’s story. An advocate of providing a strong support system for …

#44: Paul Joannides – The Guide to Getting It On

The Guide to Getting It On: A Self-Published Phenomenon If there was ever an excuse to self-publish a book, The Guide is a great example of how successful one can be using the practice. After Paul had taken nine years to finish the first draft of what would become The Guide To Getting It On, …

#43: Jenny Berk – Body Image

Our Body Image: Is it Environmentally Reinforced? To start this episode, Jenny shares her fascination for the “etiology” (origin) of our body image. That is, when did we first become self-conscious about our bodies? Jenny states that she did over sixty interviews during the research stage of The Body Image Blueprint and the answer she …

#42: Suzanna Mathews – Cougar-Cub Relationships

Using the Term “Cougar” To start this episode, Suzanna talks about the negative connotations surrounding the title “cougar.” There are considerable allusions to predatory behavior when the term is brought up. Of course, Suzanna was well aware of this and after much deliberation, she decided to still include the oft-controversial “cougar” in the subtitle of …

#41: Peggy Bennett – Matchmaking

Basics of Matchmaking School Listen in as Peggy describes her learning experience at the Matchmaking Institute of New York. What do you need to pay attention to when matchmaking? Peggy details that listening carefully during one-on-one sessions and making sure to take care of the business are essential.

#40: Jessa Zimmerman [Soapbox] – Sexual Avoidance Cycle

The Sexual Avoidance Cycle is far more common than many would believe, and I talk about this situation, what causes it and perpetuates its continuance. I also answer the first of my listener questions during this “Soapbox” episode where I get to help you understand this important topic.

#39: Heather [Personal Story] – Sexual Trauma & Awakening

A personal story of trauma and awakening Listen to the story of Heather and her traumatic experiences which led to her transformative journey in her own life. She grew up feeling like an outsider with feelings of inadequacy. Hear Heather describe her struggles that initially presented in her young life and how these difficulties led …

#38: Dr. Steven Davidson – Pornography

Pornography – the good and the bad Listen to the discussion of the role of Erotica and Pornography in a relationship and the positive and negative impacts. Defining Pornography What is the definition of pornography? Listen as Steven succinctly describes pornography and erotica and the overlapping interpretations of arousing materials. Hear the use and role …

#37: Lara Currie – Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations as an opportunity? Challenge as an opportunity? Listen as Lara describes the context of conflict. She discusses how the components of assumption, judgment and expectation lead to a reaction.

#36: Rebecca Coffey – Evolution and Sexual Behavior

Evolutionary Psychology and Sex In this episode, Rebecca tells us about Evolutionary Psychology, examining our roles and interactions through a biological and historical lens. Listen in as she compares our human proclivities to our great ape relatives.

#35: [Personal Story] Marina – Journey of Liberation

A personal story of sexual liberation In this episode, I talk to Marina, who shares her personal journey from struggles with her self-image and a painful first sexual experience, to finally feeling liberated with a happier sex life. The first time: a painful experience As a teenager, Marina tells us that she struggled with self-image …

#34: Katie Zvolerin – Adam & Eve

History of Adam & Eve, A Sex Toy Retailer Listen in as Katy discusses how Adam & Eve started out. She mentions it was just a thesis requirement to complete the founder Phil Harvey’s Master’s Degree.

#33: Dr. Laurie Mintz – The Orgasm Gap

Becoming Cliterate Dr. Laurie shares the reason behind why she wrote her book, Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters–And How to Get It. As a professor to over 150 students a year, she shares the influence her undergrad students had on this book. Two factors that ultimately influenced her was the massive orgasm gap in …

#32: Beth Liebling – Darling Way

The Store: Darling Way In this episode, Beth talks about how she started and founded the Darling Way after her 22-year marriage ended with a divorce. She shares how her shop started after an awful experience buying a lingerie for herself. Her store’s concept is about embracing the fact that it’s okay to be silly, …

Guest inquiry

I am interested in having guests on the show who can share expertise or insight into a wide variety of topics that relate to better sex. I'd love to hear from you if you think you might be a good fit.

 

I will get back to you if I can host you on an episode and will provide a link to schedule the interview.