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Better Sex is a sex podcast focused on helping all couples create and enjoy their best possible sex life. Jessa Zimmerman is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. She and her expert guests share their insights, strategies and ways of thinking about sex that will help you improve your intimate relationship, whether you have sexual struggles or are just looking to make your sex life even better.

In this podcast for couples, each episode will dive into one topic related to sex. Some will be devoted to addressing sexual concerns like sexual dysfunction, differences in sexual desire, and intimacy problems. Some will help you develop realistic and helpful expectations. And some will offer information and approaches that can just make your sex life better. Some episodes feature personal stories from regular people who are struggling with sex or who have overcome difficulties.

The information and discussion on the podcast should not be taken as medical advice or as therapy. Please seek out qualified professionals for medical and therapeutic advice.

About Jessa Zimmerman

Jessa Zimmerman is a couples counselor and AASECT certified sex therapist in private practice in Seattle, WA. In her work, she helps couples who have a good relationship but who are avoiding sex because it's become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured.

She is passionate about helping couples create their very best possible sex life. She started this podcast in an effort to bring information and inspiration to anyone looking to enjoy better sex with their partner.

Episodes

#68: Rachel Keller & Beverly Dale – Sex Positivity in the Christian Faith

Sexual Health within the Christian Faith Starting with a little background on Rachel, she is a psychotherapist who works with clients who have experienced trauma and in sexuality in general. When considering her certification, she has been certified through AASEC and is a part of the American Academy of Psychotherapists. Rachel has long been equal …

#67: Alice Little – Legal Sex Work

An Intimate Conversation with a Legal Sex WorkerMy guest, Alice Little, works at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada, which is a legal brothel and where she has worked for the last three years. And as she states during the interview, before she became a courtesan at the Bunny Ranch, she was a sex educator. …

#66: Pam Costa – Women Talking About Sex

The importance of talking about sexMy guest, Pam Costa, spent a decade-and-a-half at both Apple and Facebook. After having a life-changing experience with a sex therapist during a session, she realized that a transition to sex therapy was where she belonged.

#65: Lara McElderry – Prioritizing Intimacy

My guest Lara McElderry knows all about the struggles of being married to a surgeon: the crazy hours, the extensive amount of time spent in training, and the toll it can take on any relationship dynamic. And in this episode, she offers up her time and provides some tips and advice for those who might …

#64: Stephanie Buehler – Fertility Issues and Sex

My guest on today’s show is Stephanie Buehler. She’s a licensed therapist, AASECT certified sex therapist, a graduate of UCLA and Pepperdine (among others), and a best-selling writer who has authored many enlightening books on sexuality and sex therapy, including intimacy in particular which her book Counseling Couples Before, During, and After Pregnancy: Sexuality and …

#63: Ellen Dechesne – Third Stage Sex

As my guest Ellen Dechesne relates during this episode, sex in your later years, what is defined as the ‘third stage’ of your life, is a very important and relevant topic to consider.

#62: Mariah Freya – Conscious Sex

My guest is Mariah Freya, the founder of Beducated.com, which is a website and repository of online courses, resources, and tantric-infused concepts for more conscious sex. And today, Mariah stops by to share with you and demystify Yoni and Lingam massage, various aspects of how to have more conscious sex, and ultimately achieve what she calls …

#61: Dr. Valerie Rein – Patriarchal Stress Disorder

My guest for this episode is Dr. Valerie Rein. She is an author, psychologist, and in addition, founded Her Genius, Inc. Through her work, she has coined the term Patriarchal Stress Disorder to capture and reflect upon the historical dynamic of predominantly patriarchal power structures throughout time. And more specifically, how patriarchy has negatively affected …

#60: Dr. Mark Schoen – SexSmartFilms

My guest is Mark Schoen. He is a prolific sex-education filmmaker–he has made over 50 of them!–and still very productive and skilled at his important work in the industry. As his focus attests, educating the general public about sexual topics is always necessary. We can never have enough sexual education throughout the world, so what …

#59: Carolina Vee [Personal Story] – Permission to Love Herself

My guest for this episode is Carolina Vee. She has an extremely important story to tell and we are so privileged to have her on the show. As a victim of sexual abuse, it took a long time for Carolina to untangle the knotted aspects of her life. She sought healing, self-forgiveness, absolution from self-directed …

#58: Steph Auteri – A Dirty Word

My guest Steph has been writing about sexuality for more than fifteen years. She generally writes about sex education, rape culture, and perceptions regarding female sexuality. Her book A Dirty Word: How a Sex Writer Reclaimed Her Sexuality is an autobiography about the sexual abuse she was victim to, but it also encompasses a lot …

#57: Stan Tatkin – We Do

Stan Tatkin is the founder of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®(PACT). He has worked with couples for more than fifteen years in his clinical practice. He teaches, he counsels, he writes, he does it all! Stan has authored a few very important books throughout his career, some of them including: Wired for Love, Your …

#56: Amanda Testa – Feminine Fire

My guest Amanda Testa is an expert in sex and love. She is the founder of Find Your Feminine Fire, which is a program that combines concepts from neuroscience and tantra. Utilizing her coaching experience and knowledge in the field, she aims to empower women to be more confident and sexually expressive.

#55: Lisa Diamond – Female Sexual Fluidity

Today, Lisa Diamond tells us about her past and present research on sexual fluidity. Lisa M. Diamond is Professor of Psychology and Gender Studies at the University of Utah. Her research focuses on the development and dynamic expression of sexual identity and orientation over the life course, the influences of early life experiences on psychosocial …

#54: Emily [Personal Story] – Asking for What You Want

Bi-Sexual AwakeningAs early as 10 or 11, Emily felt that she was bi-sexual. Listen as she describes her evolution of feelings, relationships, and sexual interactions. Coming of AgeAt the age of 16, Emily felt ready for sex. Listen as she discusses her life experience in a small-town community. This smaller atmosphere created a sense of …

#53: Daniela Wittmann – Prostate Cancer and Sex

My guest Daniela Wittmann is an expert on prostate health and urology. In fact, she is a very prominent member of the Prostate Cancer Survivorship Program; in addition, she is an associate professor of Urology and Social Work in the University of Michigan Health System. In this interview, she informs listeners on prostate health and …

#52: Jessa Zimmerman [Soapbox] – Changing Your Mindset

In this episode we talk about changing your mindset about sex and about relationships. This episode will challenge your ideas about roles in a relationship and describe a list of new rules to follow that may replace some assumptions that could be getting in your way.

#51: Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are

The Motivation for Come As You AreMy guest today is Emily Nagoski, the acclaimed author of the best selling book, Come as You Are. As Emily relates, the motivation to write her best-selling book has a very prominent beginning. It was the first day of the semester and Emily was beginning her usual Anatomy class. …

#50: Dr. Beverly Whipple – Female Orgasm, The G Spot, and Ejaculation

How Dr. Beverly Whipple Started Studying Sex Dr. Whipple got her start while she was teaching nursing students. A sexual topic was broached that she didn’t have concrete answers for, and so she gave the inquisitive student a rain check. She then realized sex classes needed to be taught and that she wanted to be …

#49: Stephen [Personal Story] – Tantra for Healing

It is time for another personal story. As always, on my show, I like to shine a spotlight on important stories from people who need to tell them. These personal stories offer fresh perspectives on subjects that should be discussed, listened to, ponder over, and written about. And my guest has a story that to …

#48: Ian Kerner – She Comes First

The True Meaning of ‘Cliteracy’ Starting with a discussion of his book, She Comes First, Ian Kerner’s coined word ‘cliteracy’ is given more thought and emphasis. Overall, the term encapsulates the aim of his bestselling book. He relays to listeners his previously one-sided mentalities towards sex, his struggles, and his overall motivations for becoming “cliterate” …

#47: Jessa – Expectations are the Problem

The Sexual Avoidance Cycle Revisited: The Dangers of ‘Sexpectations’ Today we are going to revisit the Sexual Avoidance Cycle; more specifically, we are going to talk about the Disappointment Phase of the Cycle in order to pinpoint the harmful effects of expectations. That is, what happens when we have grand visions and plans for a …

#46: Dr. Tina Sellers – Sex, God, and the Conservative Church

Overcoming Sexual Shame In her work, Sellers places considerable emphasis on reversing sexual shame in her clients’ and readers’ minds. Growing up in a sexually-open environment, with parents who were very transparent about sexual function, health, and education, Tina learned the importance of communication over the suppression of sexual fact. And by extension, she is …

#45: Pia [Personal Story] – Parent of a Trans Teen

Parenting a trans teen Pia is the mother of a transgender child (now twenty years old) who underwent a successful physical transition into his male self. Pia’s love for her kid and overall emotional resiliency shines through when she recounts the details of her child’s story. An advocate of providing a strong support system for …

#44: Paul Joannides – The Guide to Getting It On

The Guide to Getting It On: A Self-Published Phenomenon If there was ever an excuse to self-publish a book, The Guide is a great example of how successful one can be using the practice. After Paul had taken nine years to finish the first draft of what would become The Guide To Getting It On, …

#43: Jenny Berk – Body Image

Our Body Image: Is it Environmentally Reinforced? To start this episode, Jenny shares her fascination for the “etiology” (origin) of our body image. That is, when did we first become self-conscious about our bodies? Jenny states that she did over sixty interviews during the research stage of The Body Image Blueprint and the answer she …

#42: Suzanna Mathews – Cougar-Cub Relationships

Using the Term “Cougar” To start this episode, Suzanna talks about the negative connotations surrounding the title “cougar.” There are considerable allusions to predatory behavior when the term is brought up. Of course, Suzanna was well aware of this and after much deliberation, she decided to still include the oft-controversial “cougar” in the subtitle of …

#41: Peggy Bennett – Matchmaking

Basics of Matchmaking School Listen in as Peggy describes her learning experience at the Matchmaking Institute of New York. What do you need to pay attention to when matchmaking? Peggy details that listening carefully during one-on-one sessions and making sure to take care of the business are essential.

#40: Jessa Zimmerman [Soapbox] – Sexual Avoidance Cycle

The Sexual Avoidance Cycle is far more common than many would believe, and I talk about this situation, what causes it and perpetuates its continuance. I also answer the first of my listener questions during this “Soapbox” episode where I get to help you understand this important topic.

#39: Heather [Personal Story] – Sexual Trauma & Awakening

A personal story of trauma and awakening Listen to the story of Heather and her traumatic experiences which led to her transformative journey in her own life. She grew up feeling like an outsider with feelings of inadequacy. Hear Heather describe her struggles that initially presented in her young life and how these difficulties led …

#38: Dr. Steven Davidson – Pornography

Pornography – the good and the bad Listen to the discussion of the role of Erotica and Pornography in a relationship and the positive and negative impacts. Defining Pornography What is the definition of pornography? Listen as Steven succinctly describes pornography and erotica and the overlapping interpretations of arousing materials. Hear the use and role …

#37: Lara Currie – Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations as an opportunity? Challenge as an opportunity? Listen as Lara describes the context of conflict. She discusses how the components of assumption, judgment and expectation lead to a reaction.

#36: Rebecca Coffey – Evolution and Sexual Behavior

Evolutionary Psychology and Sex In this episode, Rebecca tells us about Evolutionary Psychology, examining our roles and interactions through a biological and historical lens. Listen in as she compares our human proclivities to our great ape relatives.

#35: [Personal Story] Marina – Journey of Liberation

A personal story of sexual liberation In this episode, I talk to Marina, who shares her personal journey from struggles with her self-image and a painful first sexual experience, to finally feeling liberated with a happier sex life. The first time: a painful experience As a teenager, Marina tells us that she struggled with self-image …

#34: Katie Zvolerin – Adam & Eve

History of Adam & Eve, A Sex Toy Retailer Listen in as Katy discusses how Adam & Eve started out. She mentions it was just a thesis requirement to complete the founder Phil Harvey’s Master’s Degree.

#33: Dr. Laurie Mintz – The Orgasm Gap

Becoming Cliterate Dr. Laurie shares the reason behind why she wrote her book, Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters–And How to Get It. As a professor to over 150 students a year, she shares the influence her undergrad students had on this book. Two factors that ultimately influenced her was the massive orgasm gap in …

#32: Beth Liebling – Darling Way

The Store: Darling Way In this episode, Beth talks about how she started and founded the Darling Way after her 22-year marriage ended with a divorce. She shares how her shop started after an awful experience buying a lingerie for herself. Her store’s concept is about embracing the fact that it’s okay to be silly, …

#31: [Personal Story] Anca – A Recovering People Pleaser

Recovering from people pleasing Today's guest is sharing her story of claiming her story, rewriting her story, figuring out which parts she wants in, and which parts no longer serve her.

#30: Tamara Powell – Polyamory

Polyamory – one version of consensual non-monogamy. There are certainly plenty of people that choose an open relationship of one sort or another. Even though they're committed to each other, but by agreement, they are non-monogamous. Often what we're referring to is people that have been committed and decide to change the arrangement and include …

#29: Maegan Megginson – Female Sexual Pain

Welcome to Better Sex. Today we are covering an important and pervasive topic. We're going to talk about female sexual pain, a woman's sexual pain. Way too many people struggle with painful conditions and most of them don't know what to do about it.

#28: Brodie Welch – Holistic Approaches to Libido

Today’s episode features Brodie Welch, a Chinese Medicine expert who helps us to recognize that from a Chinese medicine perspective, everything is energy, and sexual energy is an important subset of our total sum of energy reserves. We cover how to apply all areas of the Chinese medicinal branches, the original body/mind/spirit medicine, into our …

#27: [Personal Story] Jenn – Trauma & Infertility, Fortunate Healing

Today’s personal story features Jenn, a 47-year-old woman who has undergone more than her fair share of stressful events during her life. From being molested as a child and losing her virginity to date rape, to facing repeated infertility issues, miscarriages and finally a hysterectomy. We cover how all these events affected her relationship with …

#26: Melissa Walker – Healing Our Sexual Fragmentation

Correction: I mis-spoke in my introduction to the episode. Melissa is not yet certified as a sex therapist. I apologize for any confusion. Sexual Fragmentation – what is it and how does it show up in sex therapy? Tune in today to learn about how Melissa defines fragmentation as it applies to sex therapy work, …

#25: Amanda Laird – Menstruation and Sexual Health

Amanda’s interest in menstrual health began as early as her childhood. Today she passionately shares her wisdom about how women should have knowledge of how their bodies work and, with this, feel empowered to talk about menstruation and sex without feeling ashamed.

#24: Stacy Fisher-Gunn – The Importance of Self-Care

What is self-care? Tune in to hear Stacy’s definition of self-care: what it looks like and how it relates to all areas of life, not only with regards to physical health but mental and emotional health as well. Stacy reveals what percentage of health care issues come back to self-care, and talks about its relevance …

#23: Dr. Serena Fiacco – Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy

What is pelvic floor physical therapy? Dr. Fiacco kicks off by telling us exactly what pelvic floor physical therapy is; explaining about the basic musculature of the pelvic area and what kind of health issues can stem from this region, including some unexpected areas of the body that may present with problems that actually arise …

#22: Dr. Renee Flores – Sex and Sexuality in the Elderly

Sex in the elder years In today's episode, we look at sex and sexuality in the elderly. It is a common misconception that people are no longer sexually active as they grow older and Dr. Flores will be sharing her thoughts on this with us so enjoy the insights!

#21: [Personal Story] Nancy & Frank – A Perfect Storm

Frank was raised in a conservative home that placed a noose of fear and shame around sex. After a decade of fantasizing about sex, Frank married in his late 20’s and recalls the awkwardness about it. Sexuality was a very taboo topic in Frank's life and this carried into both his marriages. Nancy had issues …

#20: Dr. Stephen Snyder – Why Social Media is Making Sex Obsolete

Social Media is making sex obsolete. Dr. Stephen Snyder shares a shocking statistic that reveals the drop in the sexual interaction between people. He unpacks his very interesting theory on why this is. In this episode, you will hear about why people have sex and the influence of social media and technology on their motivation …

#19: Robin LaCross – Talking to Kids About Sex

How do you talk to kids about sex? In today’s episode, Robin LaCross and I discuss talking about sex to kids. Robin shares the childhood experiences that drew her to her purpose. She reveals the impact of a book about natural family planning, that raised many questions for her. Her curiosity led her to find …

Guest inquiry

I am interested in having guests on the show who can share expertise or insight into a wide variety of topics that relate to better sex. I'd love to hear from you if you think you might be a good fit.

 

I will get back to you if I can host you on an episode and will provide a link to schedule the interview.