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Better Sex is a sex podcast focused on helping all couples create and enjoy their best possible sex life. Jessa Zimmerman is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. She and her expert guests share their insights, strategies and ways of thinking about sex that will help you improve your intimate relationship, whether you have sexual struggles or are just looking to make your sex life even better.

In this podcast for couples, each episode will dive into one topic related to sex. Some will be devoted to addressing sexual concerns like sexual dysfunction, differences in sexual desire, and intimacy problems. Some will help you develop realistic and helpful expectations. And some will offer information and approaches that can just make your sex life better. Some episodes feature personal stories from regular people who are struggling with sex or who have overcome difficulties.

The information and discussion on the podcast should not be taken as medical advice or as therapy. Please seek out qualified professionals for medical and therapeutic advice.

About Jessa Zimmerman

Jessa Zimmerman is a couples counselor and AASECT certified sex therapist in private practice in Seattle, WA. In her work, she helps couples who have a good relationship but who are avoiding sex because it's become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured.

She is passionate about helping couples create their very best possible sex life. She started this podcast in an effort to bring information and inspiration to anyone looking to enjoy better sex with their partner.

Episodes

#94 – Dr. Jennifer Valli – Fetishes

My guest today is Jennifer Valli. She has been on the show before to share her expertise and we’re very fortunate to have her back!   Jenifer has a Ph.D., has 26 years of clinical experience in psychiatry, and is an experienced therapist an AASECT-certified sex therapist and educator. She is professionally involved with many different publications including Men’s Fitness …

#93 – Taylor Pierce – Navigating Jealousy

Navigating Jealousy  My guest, Taylor Pierce, is a therapist at the Center for Couples & Sex Therapy in Portland, Oregon. She works closely with couples to explore issues in relationships and sexuality and really loves connecting and working with the LGBQT community and ethically non-monogamous dynamics.  In this episode, in particular, she explains the ins and outs …

#92 – Matthias Rose – Ejaculatory Choice

Ejaculatory Control or Choice  My guest is a repeat guest, which is a first for the Better Sex Podcast! His name is Matthias Rose and he is a Tantric teacher and healer. Matthias operates his practice out of Seattle and loves to connect couples through the power of Tantra.   In this episode though, he explores …

#91 – Kara Haug – Fairy Tale Expectations

Happily Ever After is a Fairy Tale  My guest today is Kara Haug. She is the creator of Grace Unbound and is a practicing sex educator with a B.A. in Psychology and a Masters in Theological Studies, as well as a certificate in Sexual Health Education from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. Her role …

#90 – Susan Bratton – Sexual Vitality

Background  My guest Susan Bratton has been called a ‘trusted hot sex advisor for millions’. She is a sex technique publisher, a celebrated speaker, educator, CEO and Co-Founder of Personal Life Media, and the list goes on and on about her qualifications and amazing qualities.  In this episode, in particular, she shares her experience with …

#89 – Dr. Justin Lehmiller – Sexual Fantasies

Sexual Fantasies and Eroticism  I know I say it often, but this topic is one of my favorites. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Justin Lehmiller about the all-important topic of sexual fantasies.   Justin is a celebrated speaker, researcher, author, and a very effective educator on the psychology of sexuality. His blog Sex and Psychology gets millions of …

#88 – Dr. Corey Allan – Desire Discrepancy Conversations

Desire Discrepancy Conversation  My guest is Dr. Corey Allan. He is a professional counselor and host of the podcast Sexy Marriage Radio, which centers on helping couples experience amazing sex within their relationships. He hosts the podcast with his wife, Pam, and they share some pretty stellar information on the topic every week.  Listen to …

#87 – [Soapbox] – You are not broken

You are not broken  I get back on my soapbox this week to talk about something I think is important. So many people feel broken or like something is wrong with them when they struggle with sex, but this is not true. 

#86: [Reprise] Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are

Come As You Are My guest today is the acclaimed author of the best selling, Come as You Are. Emily has been a sex educator since 1995, where she put her education to good use (psychology, cognitive science, and philosophy). Quickly, she realized that sex education, woman’s well-being, and violence prevention was far more fulfilling work for …

#85 – [Soapbox] – Talking about Sex with your Partner

How can you bring up your sexual concerns with your partner? On this episode, I focus on talking about sex with your partner when things are not going well. It can be uncomfortable to bring up sexual issues with your partner, and it’s for this reason that I have developed a guide that you can access with the link at the end …

#84: Martha Kauppi – Sexual Desire Issues

Sexual Desire Issues  My guest today is Martha Kauppi, who is a certified sex therapist and supervisor. Through her practice in Wisconsin, she focuses largely on relationships and how they can affect sex, and vice versa. In addition, she has a background in healthcare, so she brings a very useful perspective and expertise to her …

#83: Dr. Kelifern Pomeranz – Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction  My guest is Dr. Kelifern Pomeranz. She is a licensed clinical psychiatrist, a sex therapist, and an overall expert on arousal disorders and more. She has a practice in Silicon Valley and is here to talk about erections: in particular, how to have healthy erections, what to do if you are having problems getting them, …

#82: [Soapbox] – Exploring Eroticism

Exploring Eroticism  The topic today is eroticism, which is our unique fingerprint of what turns us on. It's a set of things or the theme of things that really arouses us – that we find highly interesting and erotic. We all have the things that we prefer in sex and things that we find more arousing than others. …

#81: August McLaughlin – Girl Boner

Girl Boner – A Story of Empowerment  My guest is August McLaughlin. She is a celebrated health and sexuality writer, the creator of Girl Boner, wrote a book with the same name, and is a fellow podcaster!   As she states during the talk, her experience with sexual education was very lacking and lopsided. From an …

#80: [Soapbox] – Desire Discrepancy Issues and Strategies

Desire Discrepancy may or may not be a term that you've heard. This is where two different people want different amounts of sex. There's a discrepancy between your desire and your partner’s. This is universal. It happens all the time, and it is a problem for a lot of people. In this episode, I’m going …

#79: Dr. Sharon Cohen – Feminine Energy

All about Feminine Energy  My guest Sharon Cohen, PhD has been working in the mental health field for over 25 years. She has also specialized in love and relationships for the past 7 years, but as she states during the interview, she has always been passionate about the subject.   Her main clientele is women in …

#78: [Soapbox] – Sexual Satisfaction Scale

Because there have been so many great guests and conversations on the show, it has been awhile since we’ve done a soapbox episode. In this soapbox, Jessa talks about measuring sexual satisfaction in a way that is meaningful to you.  While host Jessa was doing her continued education (as sex therapists are required to do), she …

#77: How Childbirth Affects Men – Dr. Amy Gilliland

Men and childbirth  My guest is Dr. Amy Gilliland, Ph.D., ADVCD/BDT(DONA), CSE (AASECT). She is a doula, an AASECT certified sexual educator, and her work has been extensively shared and published in many prestigious academic journals on the subject of sexuality and various aspects of childbirth.  This episode largely deals with men (with female birthing partners) …

#76: Sexuality and Spirituality – Tina Schermer Sellers and Kamara McAndews

Intimacy that Includes Mind, Body, Heart and Spirit  My guests are Tina Schermer Sellers and Kamara McAndrews, and together they are sharing the important work of Gina Odgen who passed away last year. Gina herself was a sexual educator and researcher who explored the intersection of sexuality and spirituality. From it came the 4-D wheel of mind, body, heart, …

#75: Feminine and Fulfilled – Shazia Imam

Feminine and Fulfilled  My guest Shazia Imam works with women who are looking to access and unlock their deepest desires and power. She is very skilled at inspiring women to chase their desires once they have figured them out. Shazia does transformational life coaching, she worked as an engineer before shifting careers, and she has a great story to …

#74: Yes Brain in the Bedroom – Heidi Crockett

About Heidi Crockett  My guest is Heidi Crockett. She is a highly qualified sexual health educator and speaker on stress and sex. She is also the author of The Neuroscience of Dating and Caregiver Stress: Neurobiology to the Rescue. In addition, Heidi is a licensed psychotherapist and studied sexual health postgraduate at the University of Michigan.  In this episode, …

#73 – Jim Fleckenstein – Consensual Non-Monogamy

Consensual Non-Monogamy  My guest is Jim Fleckenstein. He is a coach and educator on sexuality. He is also a researcher who focuses predominantly on non-exclusive relationships and how they affect the individuals involved. He is an expert in consensual non-monogamy and a wellspring of knowledge and insight, which he graciously shares in this episode. Jim …

#72: Amy Lang – Signs of sexual abuse in children

Signs of sexual trauma in children  My guest for this episode is Amy Lang: she has been teaching sex for over 25 years now with an emphasis on teaching kids about sexuality in an effective, healthy way. Amy has a Master’s degree in Applied Behavioral Science. She started her foray into sexual education as a hobby, but she …

#71: Dr. Sheila Addison – Transgender/Cisgender Relationships

Dr. Sheila Addison: when your partner is transgender  This episode is a wealth of information. It is delivered by the expert guidance of guest Dr. Sheila Addison and covers many important elements of transgender and cisgender relationships, the transgender community in general, post-surgery sex, sex between cisgender and transgender partners, how identities are designated at …

#70: DJ Burr [Personal Story] – Recovery Saved My Life

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, it is my honor to welcome DJ as he shares his personal journey with you. Having people come in and share the details of their life is one of the best parts of this platform! DJ is a therapist who works in the Seattle area. He specifically …

#69: Dr. Lori Brotto – Mindfulness and Sex

My guest is Dr. Lori Brotto. She works at the University of British Columbia Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Lori has a Ph.D. in psychology with an emphasis in psychophysiology. She is a practicing psychologist and also spearheads a lab, which focuses on mindfulness-based approaches for the sexual health of women. And within this episode, …

#68: Rachel Keller & Beverly Dale – Sex Positivity in the Christian Faith

Sexual Health within the Christian Faith Starting with a little background on Rachel, she is a psychotherapist who works with clients who have experienced trauma and in sexuality in general. When considering her certification, she has been certified through AASECT and is a part of the American Academy of Psychotherapists. Rachel has long been equal …

#67: Alice Little – Legal Sex Work

An Intimate Conversation with a Legal Sex WorkerMy guest, Alice Little, works at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada, which is a legal brothel and where she has worked for the last three years. And as she states during the interview, before she became a courtesan at the Bunny Ranch, she was a sex educator. …

#66: Pam Costa – Women Talking About Sex

The importance of talking about sexMy guest, Pam Costa, spent a decade-and-a-half at both Apple and Facebook. After having a life-changing experience with a sex therapist during a session, she realized that a transition to sex therapy was where she belonged.

#65: Lara McElderry – Prioritizing Intimacy

My guest Lara McElderry knows all about the struggles of being married to a surgeon: the crazy hours, the extensive amount of time spent in training, and the toll it can take on any relationship dynamic. And in this episode, she offers up her time and provides some tips and advice for those who might …

#64: Stephanie Buehler – Fertility Issues and Sex

My guest on today’s show is Stephanie Buehler. She’s a licensed therapist, AASECT certified sex therapist, a graduate of UCLA and Pepperdine (among others), and a best-selling writer who has authored many enlightening books on sexuality and sex therapy, including intimacy in particular which her book Counseling Couples Before, During, and After Pregnancy: Sexuality and …

#63: Ellen Dechesne – Third Stage Sex

As my guest Ellen Dechesne relates during this episode, sex in your later years, what is defined as the ‘third stage’ of your life, is a very important and relevant topic to consider.

#62: Mariah Freya – Conscious Sex

My guest is Mariah Freya, the founder of Beducated.com, which is a website and repository of online courses, resources, and tantric-infused concepts for more conscious sex. And today, Mariah stops by to share with you and demystify Yoni and Lingam massage, various aspects of how to have more conscious sex, and ultimately achieve what she calls …

#61: Dr. Valerie Rein – Patriarchal Stress Disorder

My guest for this episode is Dr. Valerie Rein. She is an author, psychologist, and in addition, founded Her Genius, Inc. Through her work, she has coined the term Patriarchal Stress Disorder to capture and reflect upon the historical dynamic of predominantly patriarchal power structures throughout time. And more specifically, how patriarchy has negatively affected …

#60: Dr. Mark Schoen – SexSmartFilms

My guest is Mark Schoen. He is a prolific sex-education filmmaker–he has made over 50 of them!–and still very productive and skilled at his important work in the industry. As his focus attests, educating the general public about sexual topics is always necessary. We can never have enough sexual education throughout the world, so what …

#59: Carolina Vee [Personal Story] – Permission to Love Herself

My guest for this episode is Carolina Vee. She has an extremely important story to tell and we are so privileged to have her on the show. As a victim of sexual abuse, it took a long time for Carolina to untangle the knotted aspects of her life. She sought healing, self-forgiveness, absolution from self-directed …

#58: Steph Auteri – A Dirty Word

My guest Steph has been writing about sexuality for more than fifteen years. She generally writes about sex education, rape culture, and perceptions regarding female sexuality. Her book A Dirty Word: How a Sex Writer Reclaimed Her Sexuality is an autobiography about the sexual abuse she was victim to, but it also encompasses a lot …

#57: Stan Tatkin – We Do

Stan Tatkin is the founder of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®(PACT). He has worked with couples for more than fifteen years in his clinical practice. He teaches, he counsels, he writes, he does it all! Stan has authored a few very important books throughout his career, some of them including: Wired for Love, Your …

#56: Amanda Testa – Feminine Fire

My guest Amanda Testa is an expert in sex and love. She is the founder of Find Your Feminine Fire, which is a program that combines concepts from neuroscience and tantra. Utilizing her coaching experience and knowledge in the field, she aims to empower women to be more confident and sexually expressive.

#55: Lisa Diamond – Female Sexual Fluidity

Today, Lisa Diamond tells us about her past and present research on sexual fluidity. Lisa M. Diamond is Professor of Psychology and Gender Studies at the University of Utah. Her research focuses on the development and dynamic expression of sexual identity and orientation over the life course, the influences of early life experiences on psychosocial …

#54: Emily [Personal Story] – Asking for What You Want

Bi-Sexual AwakeningAs early as 10 or 11, Emily felt that she was bi-sexual. Listen as she describes her evolution of feelings, relationships, and sexual interactions. Coming of AgeAt the age of 16, Emily felt ready for sex. Listen as she discusses her life experience in a small-town community. This smaller atmosphere created a sense of …

#53: Daniela Wittmann – Prostate Cancer and Sex

My guest Daniela Wittmann is an expert on prostate health and urology. In fact, she is a very prominent member of the Prostate Cancer Survivorship Program; in addition, she is an associate professor of Urology and Social Work in the University of Michigan Health System. In this interview, she informs listeners on prostate health and …

#52: Jessa Zimmerman [Soapbox] – Changing Your Mindset

In this episode we talk about changing your mindset about sex and about relationships. This episode will challenge your ideas about roles in a relationship and describe a list of new rules to follow that may replace some assumptions that could be getting in your way.

#51: Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are

The Motivation for Come As You AreMy guest today is Emily Nagoski, the acclaimed author of the best selling book, Come as You Are. As Emily relates, the motivation to write her best-selling book has a very prominent beginning. It was the first day of the semester and Emily was beginning her usual Anatomy class. …

#50: Dr. Beverly Whipple – Female Orgasm, The G Spot, and Ejaculation

How Dr. Beverly Whipple Started Studying Sex Dr. Whipple got her start while she was teaching nursing students. A sexual topic was broached that she didn’t have concrete answers for, and so she gave the inquisitive student a rain check. She then realized sex classes needed to be taught and that she wanted to be …

#49: Stephen [Personal Story] – Tantra for Healing

It is time for another personal story. As always, on my show, I like to shine a spotlight on important stories from people who need to tell them. These personal stories offer fresh perspectives on subjects that should be discussed, listened to, ponder over, and written about. And my guest has a story that to …

#48: Ian Kerner – She Comes First

The True Meaning of ‘Cliteracy’ Starting with a discussion of his book, She Comes First, Ian Kerner’s coined word ‘cliteracy’ is given more thought and emphasis. Overall, the term encapsulates the aim of his bestselling book. He relays to listeners his previously one-sided mentalities towards sex, his struggles, and his overall motivations for becoming “cliterate” …

#47: Jessa – Expectations are the Problem

The Sexual Avoidance Cycle Revisited: The Dangers of ‘Sexpectations’ Today we are going to revisit the Sexual Avoidance Cycle; more specifically, we are going to talk about the Disappointment Phase of the Cycle in order to pinpoint the harmful effects of expectations. That is, what happens when we have grand visions and plans for a …

#46: Dr. Tina Sellers – Sex, God, and the Conservative Church

Overcoming Sexual Shame In her work, Sellers places considerable emphasis on reversing sexual shame in her clients’ and readers’ minds. Growing up in a sexually-open environment, with parents who were very transparent about sexual function, health, and education, Tina learned the importance of communication over the suppression of sexual fact. And by extension, she is …

#45: Pia [Personal Story] – Parent of a Trans Teen

Parenting a trans teen Pia is the mother of a transgender child (now twenty years old) who underwent a successful physical transition into his male self. Pia’s love for her kid and overall emotional resiliency shines through when she recounts the details of her child’s story. An advocate of providing a strong support system for …

#94 – Dr. Jennifer Valli – Fetishes

My guest today is Jennifer Valli. She has been on the show before to share her expertise and we’re very fortunate to have her back!   Jenifer has a Ph.D., has 26 years of clinical experience in psychiatry, and is an experienced therapist an AASECT-certified sex therapist and educator. She is professionally involved with many different publications including Men’s Fitness …

#93 – Taylor Pierce – Navigating Jealousy

Navigating Jealousy  My guest, Taylor Pierce, is a therapist at the Center for Couples & Sex Therapy in Portland, Oregon. She works closely with couples to explore issues in relationships and sexuality and really loves connecting and working with the LGBQT community and ethically non-monogamous dynamics.  In this episode, in particular, she explains the ins and outs …

Guest inquiry

I am interested in having guests on the show who can share expertise or insight into a wide variety of topics that relate to better sex. I'd love to hear from you if you think you might be a good fit.

 

I will get back to you if I can host you on an episode and will provide a link to schedule the interview.