#113 – Premature Ejaculation and Treatment – Jeff Abraham

Jeff Abraham is a man dedicated to doing the right thing. After winning a court case against Hyundai who asked him to actively discriminate against female and African American candidates in 1999, he moved to Promescent as CEO, a company founded by his late friend, Dr. Ronald Gilbert.  Jeff has continued his legacy by fulfilling his companies dreams in his honor.  In addition to this Jeff has spent the last decade advocating sexual health and wellness by educating the public on the importance of intimacy and how to resolve common sexual dysfunctions. 
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#112 – Hip Injuries Can Cause Sexual Pain with Dr. Ben Domb

Hip Injuries Can Cause Sexual Pain

Benjamin Domb, M.D. is the Founder, Medical Director, and Orthopedic Surgeon at American Hip Institute & Orthopedic Specialists. His group pioneers advanced, comprehensive, and non-invasive treatments in a mission to cure hip pain. AHI uses Hip Arthroscopy, Robotics, Resurfacing, and Regenerative Medicine to treat hip pain in their Chicago office. Now Benjamin is reaching out to discuss the ways that hip pain can create and contribute to pain during sex. 
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#111 – Advocating for LGBTQ Youth in School – Michelle Belke 

Advocating for LGBTQ Youth in School 

Michelle Belke currently works as a Mental Health School Counsellor at an independent school in Metro Detroit, Michigan. She has a part-time private practice in psychotherapy and sex therapy in Birmingham, Michigan. In her school setting, Michelle does a lot to make students feel comfortable coming to her and discussing sexuality and sexual identity, such as decorating her office with pride symbols and doing outreach through the school, and even setting up the school’s first Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) and that a surprisingly large amount of her work for the school deals with LGBTQ+ issues and concerns. 
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#110 – Your Conscious Sexual Self – Melissa Fritchle

The Conscious Sexual Self 

My guest is Melissa Fritchle. She has developed The Conscious Sexual Self Workbook, she is a mindfulness meditation teacher, a Holistic Sex Therapist, is an educator and workshop leader, and that’s just a few of her qualifications. 

Within this episode, she shares a lot of wisdom about communication between partners, mindfulness, and exploring sexuality. Really important work that Melissa is doing, and she has a lot of great things to say on the subject. Listen in!

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#109 – Sleep, Snoring and Sex – Lindsay Tucker

Sleep, Snoring, and Sex 

My guest today is Lindsay Tucker. She is the founder of artfulsleep.com and is on a mission for better sleep for all. When managing a snoring partner, she has a fresh perspective on the challenges that can arise. To her, instead of getting rid of the disruptions, she teaches the powerful concept of accepting the disruptions and becoming a better, stronger sleeper regardless. Within this episode, she shares anecdotes and expands upon the idea of becoming a more resilient sleeper. 
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#108 – Out of Control Sexual Behavior – Doug Braun-Harvey

 Out of Control Sexual Behavior 

My guest, the sexuality educator, author, trainer, and psychotherapist Doug Braun Harvey is here to share his knowledge on an important distinction in the sexual health realm: Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB). Within this interview, there are discussions about classifications of sexual health, advice for psychotherapists on how to let patients present their own vision of sexual health, and an overall fruitful discussion on the nuances of the field. 

Spoken eloquently and drawing from his wide experience in the field, Doug Braun-Harvey makes this a must-listen.   Continue reading “#108 – Out of Control Sexual Behavior – Doug Braun-Harvey”

#107 – Sexological Bodywork – Charlie Glickman

Sexological Bodywork 

My guest, Charlie Glickman, has been a sex educator for over 25 years. But it wasn’t until about 15 years ago that he realized the power of bodywork for managing and working through sexual shame. After solely teaching and writing as a sex educator, Charlie experienced firsthand just how powerful somatic therapy can be in a sexual shame context. So, he then developed his own course and practice around that discovery. This episode traces the advent of his important work in the field and moves beyond that to deliver practical insights and knowledge on the topic. A really, really important topic that I hope you get a lot from. Thanks for listening! 

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#106 – Pelvic Floor Function after Childbirth – Kathe Wallace

Pelvic Floor Function after Childbirth 

My guest is the author of Reviving Your Sex Life After Childbirth, a pioneer for diagnosing and treating pelvic floor dysfunction, and also a practicing physical therapist who specializes in the pelvic floor, specifically. Overall, she is one of the leading authorities on the PF and has a wealth of knowledge to share in this episode.  

She talks about treatment, what to expect during the “4th trimester”, and common ways of regaining sex drive after birth through pelvic floor physical intervention. Listen along!  Continue reading “#106 – Pelvic Floor Function after Childbirth – Kathe Wallace”

#105 – Trans Sexualities – Lucie Fielding

Trans Sexualities 

My guest Lucie Fielding identifies as a nonbinary femme. She is a Resident in Counseling, where she practices under supervision as a counselor in Charlottesville, Virginia. In addition to her professional education and experience in Counseling, Lucie has a PhD in Literature, which has been invaluable for analyzing the narratives and power dynamics at play within our society. Those same cultural scripts have very real socio-political circumstances for LGBTQ and nonbinary communities, especially. 

Within this episode, she talks about the importance of finding the Embodied Sexual Self, of Intimate Justice, and a wide range of concepts that can only improve the quality of understanding for all who want to improve their sexual knowledge. This interview was a treat, and I know you’ll enjoy it.   Continue reading “#105 – Trans Sexualities – Lucie Fielding”

#104 – Recovering your sexuality after cancer – Tara Galeano

Recovering your sexuality after cancer 

My guest is a certified sex therapist and sexologist with a lot of important information to share on sex therapy for women with cancer. She is the creator of the class Rediscovering My Body After Cancer and has a book and online class in the works based around the class.  

When I asked her how she got started in the field, she says that she had always enjoyed teaching in a group setting, and providing cancer support really became a great opportunity to do impactful work in the field. 

Soon she would develop a class that women could come to for answers, and things have taken off from there, resulting in a large number of women who are better equipped to navigate the often disorienting world of cancer. This is such an important topic, so please listen along. 
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#103 – Finding Your Yes – Pamela Madsen

Finding Your Yes 

Pamela Madsen joins me on this episode about the importance of finding your YES.   Pamela explains the conditioning women undergo, which rewards them for saying no and ignoring their desires. By 50, Pamela had tried over 300 diets and is therefore very familiar with this topic, having had first-hand experience. 

Pamela is founder and CEO of Back to the Body: Sensuous Retreats for Women, providing women with permission to find pleasure. Retreats are held in exotic locations all over the world, allowing participants to immerse with powerful sisterhood and a safe and supportive staff. Pamela has been an activist for women for over 30 years and was the Founder and first Executive Director of The American Fertility Association where she worked for reproductive freedom for all women. She has appeared in over 3000 media outlets including Oprah, CNN, NY Times, The Huffington Post and countless others. Tune in for an eye-opening episode! 

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#102 – Medical Treatment for Menopause – Dr. Rebecca Dunsmoor-Su

Medical Treatments for Menopause 

Dr. Rebecca Dunsmoor works in Seattle, Washington as an OBGYN specializing in diagnosing and treating unwelcome symptoms of menopause. The North American Menopause Society acknowledges her as a certified menopause practitioner and educator. On her website, renuvagyn.com, Dr. Dunsmoor maintains a growing collection of menopause-related information and runs an online women’s clinic to assist patients remotely. Dr. Dunsmoor also contributes to genneve.com, improving their impressive collection of knowledge and resources on menopause and midlife.  
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#101 – [Personal Story] – Healing from Abuse – Toni

Healing From Abuse

 My guest, whom I call Toni in this episode, is here to share a personal story of abuse and eventual transformation. Within the interview, she shares a lot of difficult episodes and traumas in her life in a brave and transparent way. You will get a lot out of this episode will learn that despite the hardest upbringing, there can be transformation, growth, and healing along the way. Please listen along and support Toni as she shares her story here. 
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#100- Body Kindness – Rebecca Scritchfield

Body Kindness 

My guest Rebecca Scritchfield is an exercise physiologist, nutritionist, author of Body Kindness and host of the Body Kindness podcast. She is a strong advocate for body positivity and healthy standards for eating, living, and self-evaluation.  

Rebecca poses the question in this interview: Isn’t your life all that much better when you aren’t worried about the standards of society? Through love, connection, and care, she shares how to be fully committed to yourself and how to have better sex through body kindness. Really valuable advice within. Enjoy! 
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#99 – From Sexual Madness to Mindfulness – Jennifer Gunsaullus

From Sexual Madness to Mindfulness 

My guest is fresh off a book tour for her new book From Madness to Mindfulness: Reinventing Sex for Women. Her name is Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus and she is a sociologist and sex coach with a wealth of knowledge on sexuality and mindfulness. Within this talk she deftly connects her term ‘sexual madness’ with mindfulness, which is an extension of her book and professional work with her clients.  

If you wondering how mindfulness can help you with sexual desire, body image, and to achieve better, well-rounded sex, then listen along and learn. You won’t regret stopping by! 

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#98 – BDSM and Kink – Tamara Pincus

BDSM and Kink 

My guest today is Tamara Pincus, who is an AASECT certified sex therapist, an advocate for BDSM and polyamory, and an overall celebrator of the diverse BDSM community. In this episode, she breaks down the fundamentals of BDSM, gives advice on how to start and practice safely, as well as talks about trauma and dissociation and other important topics. As she reminds us, BDSM is really common, so if you’re just getting started, curious, indifferent, or have been practicing for many years, this episode is for you. Enjoy!  

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#97 – Sex and Chronic Illness – Dr. Lee Phillips

Chronic Illness and Sex 

My guest is here to talk about chronic illness and how it relates to sex. Originally, there wasn’t a lot of information or resources on the subject, so to fulfill this pressing need, Dr. Lee Phillips made it a point to devote his time towards researching and alleviating some of the sexuality stressors of chronic illness. 

Lee has worked for more than 12 years as a psychotherapist; he is a licensed social worker, an educator, a sex therapist, and a prolific researcher in the sexuality realm. He brings a lot of experience and wisdom to this episode. Check it out! 

Listen to “97: Sex and Chronic Illness – Dr. Lee Phillips” on Spreaker.

The Inspiration for his Book on Chronic Pain 

Lee says that he started a chronic pain management group through his work as a geriatric psychotherapist in Williamsburg, Virginia. This would lead to the inspiration for his subsequent work in understanding and mitigating the detrimental sexual effects of chronic illness.  

Shortly after, he was approached by a colleague and persuaded to get into sex therapy because of the impacts of chronic pain on sex and relationships. He knew he could do some good work in that facet of therapy.  He also says that he was inspired to take his own research further because there wasn’t a lot of information out there on the topic of chronic illness and pain, and how it relates to sexuality. 

 

The Various Emotions That Can Accompany Chronic Illness in a Relationship 

Lee says that some couples go through ‘crisis mode’ whenever a partner is diagnosed, but overall the emotions and dynamics vary from person to person. 

He says that it’s typically a dynamic consisting of one ‘ill’ partner and the other healthy. Occasionally relationships can “open up” as the ill partner doesn’t feel adequate enough to pleasure their partner. But even more frequently, the healthy partner teams up and doesn’t act adversarial towards the illness, but instead looks for a way to manage it together. 

And sometimes there’s actually relief after a diagnosis because it brings context to an otherwise mysterious ailment that hadn’t been understood. 

 

The Mental Aspects of Chronic Illness 

Lee says that the physical symptoms can be extreme for chronic illness, but they can also lead to severe mental health difficulties that should not be overlooked.  

A big part of his job is to try and alleviate the mental turmoil that can arise dealing with an illness. When considering getting back into as healthy a sex life as possible, he likes to take into account their sexual history and see what can be done about getting back to the same level of frequency and intimacy. This can be a good boost for overall mental health in a patient. 

 

Imago Dialogue for More Reconnection Between Partners 

He says he uses Imago dialogue therapy for his couples. One of the core principles of Imago is that we unconsciously pick partners based on the qualities of our caretakers through life. So, if there’s a lot of isolation, anger, fighting, or depression within a chronic illness relationship dynamic, he will use the Imago model as exercises to break through some of those issues. 

He says there’s a sender and also a receiver within this model. The basis of the practice is to have couples actively listen and repeat what is sent from the sender back to them. This builds the necessary rapport and reassures both partners that what they’re saying is being internalized and understood. 

 

The Importance of Seeing a Sex Therapist 

Lee encourages couples to see a sex therapist and make active strides for sexual reconnection. In addition, a sex therapist can help a couple figure out alternatives to the traditional way they’ve had sex. Because, after all, sex is so much more than just penetrative sex. There’s a whole spectrum, and a sex therapist can help illuminate this crucial aspect of sexuality to those suffering from chronic pain.  

 

Key Links for Dr. Lee 

Dr. Lee’s Website: https://www.drleephillips.com/  

His blog: https://www.drleephillips.com/drleephillips  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drleephillips/  

Facebook profile: https://www.facebook.com/drleephillips  

Affiliate link for The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability 

#96 – [Personal Story] – Orthodox Judaism and Sexuality – Matty

 Orthodox Judaism and Sexuality 

My guest, whom I will call Matty, grew up in an orthodox Jewish family. In this personal story, she shares her unique perspective on her upbringing and how it has affected her life from sexuality to marriage and more.  

Within this episode she shares a lot of the challenges of her religion, but also the beautiful aspects of her marriage that speak so profoundly to her sexuality and womanhood. This is a great educational opportunity for non-orthodox listeners and will only serve to widen the dialogue on sexuality as a whole. An important perspective from a great guest; listen along! 

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#95 – Sherrie Palm – Pelvic Organ Prolapse

Pelvic Organ Prolapse 

My guest is Sherrie Palm, who is the founder and CEO of the Association for Pelvic Organ Prolapse Support. In addition, Sherrie wrote a great book called Pelvic Organ Prolapse: The Silent Epidemic that delves deeper into the subject of this episode: Pelvic Organ Prolapse or POP for short. 

Driven by Sherrie’s expertise and research on the subject, this talk demystifies the condition and shines a light on treatment options, causes, challenges, and ultimately the ways to manage the condition and live freely with it. Such an important episode that I am glad I have the opportunity to share with you. Enjoy! 

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#94 – Dr. Jennifer Valli – Fetishes

My guest today is Jennifer Valli. She has been on the show before to share her expertise and we’re very fortunate to have her back!  

Jenifer has a Ph.D., has 26 years of clinical experience in psychiatry, and is an experienced therapist an AASECT-certified sex therapist and educator. She is professionally involved with many different publications including Men’s Fitness Magazine, and she did Post-Grad work in Sexual Health at the University of Michigan. These are just a few of her notable accomplishments and qualifications. 

Most applicable to this particular episode is her training in fetishes/paraphilias through Johns Hopkins University.  Within this talk, she explores the complex world of fetishes, and how we should approach them, some theories on their starting points, as well as ways to normalize atypical arousal. 
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#93 – Taylor Pierce – Navigating Jealousy

Navigating Jealousy 

My guest, Taylor Pierce, is a therapist at the Center for Couples & Sex Therapy in Portland, Oregon. She works closely with couples to explore issues in relationships and sexuality and really loves connecting and working with the LGBQT community and ethically non-monogamous dynamics. 

In this episode, in particular, she explains the ins and outs of jealousy and how we can avoid it by diving deeper into the root causes of our insecurities and fears. Really important, powerful stuff that Taylor does a great job demystifying! 
Continue reading “#93 – Taylor Pierce – Navigating Jealousy”

#92 – Matthias Rose – Ejaculatory Choice

Ejaculatory Control or Choice 

My guest is a repeat guest, which is a first for the Better Sex Podcast! His name is Matthias Rose and he is a Tantric teacher and healer. Matthias operates his practice out of Seattle and loves to connect couples through the power of Tantra.  

In this episode though, he explores the power of “ejaculatory choice”. This is the concept that men can be in control of their ejaculation and learn to orgasm without ejaculation. By riding what he calls orgasmic waves, men can slow down their experiences, ramp up their connection and intimacy with their partner, and overall just let go and experience sex in a healthy, care-free, powerful way. 

Listen in for much more on this powerful practice. 

Continue reading “#92 – Matthias Rose – Ejaculatory Choice”

#91 – Kara Haug – Fairy Tale Expectations

Happily Ever After is a Fairy Tale 

My guest today is Kara Haug. She is the creator of Grace Unbound and is a practicing sex educator with a B.A. in Psychology and a Masters in Theological Studies, as well as a certificate in Sexual Health Education from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. Her role mainly centers on teaching youth about shameless sexuality. She does a lot of workshops and is doing important work shifting the narrative on sexuality.  
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#90 – Susan Bratton – Sexual Vitality

Background 

My guest Susan Bratton has been called a ‘trusted hot sex advisor for millions’. She is a sex technique publisher, a celebrated speaker, educator, CEO and Co-Founder of Personal Life Media, and the list goes on and on about her qualifications and amazing qualities. 

In this episode, in particular, she shares her experience with sexual vitality and the summit she is spearheading in September (September 23-29, 2019). Within this talk, she also shares some insights into intimacy issues and basic remedies for those disconnects between couples of all dynamics. 

Really useful, informative stuff. And I’d recommend that you check out the many resources that Susan has put out there! 
Continue reading “#90 – Susan Bratton – Sexual Vitality”

#89 – Dr. Justin Lehmiller – Sexual Fantasies

Sexual Fantasies and Eroticism 

I know I say it often, but this topic is one of my favorites. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Justin Lehmiller about the all-important topic of sexual fantasies.  

Justin is a celebrated speaker, researcher, author, and a very effective educator on the psychology of sexuality. His blog Sex and Psychology gets millions of visitors every year, and he regularly contributes his writing to major publications. This talk about his research is guided by his expertise and experience in the field. 

Listen to “89: Dr. Justin Lehmiller – Sexual Fantasies” on Spreaker.

The Most Common Sexual Fantasies  

Justin says that when he surveyed almost 4,200 Americans from 2014 to 2016, the most common fantasies encompassed 7 different themes. 

  1. Multi-partner sex 
  2. BDSM 
  3. Novelty, Adventure & Variety
  4. Taboo activities 
  5. Emotional connection and fulfillment 
  6. Homoeroticism and gender-bending 
  7. Non-monogamy

Justin describes these as the building blocks of fantasies, meaning that they are not mutually exclusive and many overlap. For example, you can very well dip your toes into multiple categories in your own personal fantasy life. 

Are people ashamed of their fantasies? 

As Justin states, he found that men reported more shame about their fantasies than women. Overall, the majority of study participants reported that they held a positive relationship with their fantasies, but there were still some who felt negative emotions towards their fantasy. 

Another important thing he found during his research is that just sharing sexual fantasies can open up eroticism and alleviate feelings of embarrassment or shame for having certain fantasies. 

The Differences between Men and Women regarding fantasy

Although the data showed that both sexes share a lot of commonalities, there were still some marked differences. 

Men had more multi-partner fantasies than women did. And women had more fantasies about emotional connection with a partner. Women also had way more BDSM fantasies than men by a large margin. In addition, men usually had a specific person in mind during their fantasies, and the women-focused more on the setting and environment overall. Justin also found that the LGBTQ community had more sexually adventurous fantasies, as well as taboo fantasies. 

Justin provides some insight on why women might like BDSM more than men, as well as the LGBTQ community and their sexual fantasy preferences. Listen in for that. 

Sexual Fantasy by Personality Type 

Justin shares some interesting insight on the correlation between personality type and sexual fantasy. For example, those who are more extroverted by nature will be more outgoing the bedroom. And for those who are ‘agreeable’ personality types, there will be a higher incidence of focusing on their partner’s sexual satisfaction in the bedroom. 

He also talks about what conscientiousness has to do with fantasies, as well as self-esteem. 

“Sometimes a Cigar is Just a Cigar” 

Justin says that sexual fantasies don’t really have to mean all that much. They can offer a glimpse into something deeper, but for the most part they are just a product of your environment and genetic makeup and can be left out of the examination room. Fantasies can be a good evaluative road map to follow for your own unique sexual satisfaction, though.  

But when talking about sexual traumas, there were small connections between sexual victimization and types of fantasies. But there was a lot of inconsistency in the data 

Hear Justin explain the data on this subject. 

How to Share Your Fantasies with Your Partner 

Justin says that before you share with your partner, you first have to feel good about yourself. You aren’t alone in your fantasies, so there’s a normalization that needs to first occur.  

He says to lay low and start slow. A gradual buildup for disclosing your fantasies to your partner is much more powerful than an overwhelming information dump!  

He also goes into detail on how important sharing is for increasing overall sexual desire and satisfaction within the relationship.  

Key Links for Justin:  

Affiliate link for Justin’s book: Tell Me What You Want : https://amzn.to/2ZPPezs 

His website: https://www.lehmiller.com/  

Twitterhttps://twitter.com/  

Justin Lehmiller Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/