#122 – Feel Amazing Naked – Amanda Walker

Feel Amazing Naked 

Amanda Walker is a health lifestyle coach whose focus is on helping women feel better naked. She created the Feel Amazing Naked Program and the Feel Amazing Naked Podcast. She is the creator and blogger at awalkmyway.com. Amanda overcame a life of yo-yo dieting and emotional eating, allowing her to live a life where she controls her food, rather than her food controlling her. Now she uses her experience to help thousands of clients unearth the root causes of their food struggles to transform their bodies and their lives. She encourages her clients to lead fuller, healthier lives in which they can embrace their bodies and lose the self-consciousness and guilt that holds them back. 

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#121 – [Personal Story] Trauma as Tribal Initiation – Harriet

Trauma as Tribal Initiation 

Harriet joins us in this episode and shares her how her childhood molestation led to compulsive eating, a fear of men, painful sex, and other hallmarks of traumatic experiences before she was taught to conceptualize her trauma as an unfinished tribal initiation. She shares her story in this episode. 

Listen to “121: [Personal Story] Trauma as Tribal Initiation – Harriet” on Spreaker.

Accepting Trauma as Real and Valid 

Harriet tells us she was molested by a neighbor at the age of nine, but her mind quickly blocked the memory. When she remembered the event at the age of fifteen, her first thought was, ‘This happens to loads of people.’ She mentions that this happened thirty years ago, in a time that didn’t discuss topics like child abuse openly, but she knew enough to be aware that others had similar experiences.  

She talks about minimizing her trauma by comparing her own experiences to those of others, and deciding that her pain wasn’t too bad, because her experience was not especially violent or awful. By reading Peter Levine’s book Healing Trauma, Harriet learned that comparing trauma is misguided because trauma is marked by feeling overwhelmed and unable to escape. She recalls this insight as liberating. 

Remembering the Trauma 

Harriet says the memory of the abuse resurfaced when her father, a social worker, was making videos for his job. Harriet describes turning away from the camera while playing the role of an abused teenage girl when the memories came flooding back. 

She explains that her memories resurfaced in later years too when she was 22 years old and volunteering at a homeless hostel. One day a man who’d been staying at the hostel was arrested for molesting a child, and Harriet says she felt like ‘the curtain was drawn back’ and she saw her difficulties clearly. Harriet reports that this experience made returning to the job intolerable, as it stirred up awful emotions, but it also made her understand that her trauma was a major problem, and not something to be ignored. She explains that this incident led her to seek help, but counseling and medication proved unhelpful. 

Harriet’s Younger Years 

As a teenager, Harriet describes intense self-hatred and a desperate longing for a boyfriend despite an instinctual, intense fear of men. She explains that she coped with these emotions by overeating. For her, food was a rare source of pleasure. She explains that her self-image of being an awful person and a desire to be bigger and safer fuelled her overeating. Despite these difficulties, Harriet excelled at school and went to college. 

After working as a teacher for a few years, Harriet tells us she met her husband, who was the only man she’d ever felt safe around. Her desire to have children encouraged her to push past her struggles, which allowed her to have two children. Harriet explains that she always felt pain with sex, and never found it to be a pleasurable experience. 

Making Peace with Her Emotions 

Upon reaching 40, Harriet tells us that she was determined to conquer her food issues. After hypnotherapy, self-hypnosis, journaling, and a lot of reading Harriet discovered a book that she says changed her life, The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren. By discovering the useful and harmful instances of emotional expression, Harriet says she was able to shed her shame about her emotional dysregulation and better manage her feelings. 

Understanding Trauma as Tribal Initiation 

Harriet tells us about a full chapter of McLaren’s book around trauma. In that chapter, she describes tribal initiation as a three-part process. She says the young boy is removed from the support of a tribe, then experiences an ordeal by struggling while away from his support system. The final part is the victorious return to his support system; it is this third step that Harriet and McLaren tell us is missing for trauma victims.  

Harriet also mentions that people who don’t pass the initiation return to the tribe and must go out again until they find their ordeal and they can be acknowledged as an adult member of the tribe. They assert that this parallels the habit victims of abuse have of seeking out more abuse. Harriet explains that this made it easier for her to forgive herself for choosing abusive situations in her youth, as she was able to recontextualize it as a subconscious attempt to be welcomed back to her tribe as a full member. 

Reaching Stage Three 

She explains that in the modern world, we still need the community experience of tribal life, but she admits we often have to welcome ourselves back to the tribe while applauding ourselves for what we’ve survived. Harriet also mentions that we often form our own tribes in private or professional life to give us the acceptance and community we need. 

Harriet states that she spent many years as a self-professed victim, but she was able to reach stage three instead, and use her history to provide help to people with similar backgrounds to overcome their struggles. 

Rewards of Resolving Trauma 

Sometime after reaching stage three, Harriet explains that her marriage ended and she was able to date again. Unlike in her previous life, she found men exciting and attractive instead of frightening. She says it felt like being a teenager again, but this time without the trauma damaging her life. Now, Harriet reports that sex is pain-free and extremely enjoyable. 

Harriet’s Advice 

Harriet reminds us that horrible experiences happen to many of us, but there’s no undoing the past, so it’s best to find the gift in the experience. She advises people to find the lesson in our experiences and employ those benefits to reframe the experience as a component of our backgrounds, rather than as a defining characteristic. 

She explains that being vulnerable without being a victim is an incredibly powerful position that allows us to reassure others—and reassure ourselves—that there are others with similar experiences who you can help by processing your past and reaching stage three. 

Resources for Harriet: 

https://amzn.to/2ANMZn2 

http://www.theshiftinside.com/podcast-me-too-release-your-trauma-and-put-food-out-of-a-job-it-was-never-meant-to-do/ 

 

#120 – Pressures on Men – Dr. Corey Allan

The Pressures on Men in the Bedroom 

Dr. Corey Allan is a Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor with a PhD in Family Therapy. He has a private practice in McKinney, TX. With his wife, Pam, he hosts a weekly podcast, Sexy Marriage Radio, to help married couples engage with each other and have the best possible sex. He also established sexymarriage.net, a website that strengthens and deepens married relationships. In all his work, he helps people embrace their choice to live life and be married deliberately while growing spiritually, enhancing passion, and embracing the people and events we encounter with joy and simplicity. 

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#119 – Guide to Wicked Sex – Jessica Drake

Guide To Wicked Sex

Jessica Drake is an adult film performer, writer, and director. She’s also a sexual health advocate and sex educator. Her onscreen work earned her numerous awards, including three AVN Best Actress Awards. Jessica is a graduate of San Francisco Sex Information (SFSI) and a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). To encourage sexual health and wellness, Ms. Drake conceived and produced the award-winning “Guide to Wicked Sex” videos exploring and demonstrating different aspects of human sexuality with knowledge, experience, and good humor. Her advocacy for improved sexual education, broader awareness of sexual health, and her positive portrayal of the adult industry has led to multiple international speaking engagements and being featured in Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, CNBC, Playboy, Forbes, the Huffington Post, and more. She is a powerful advocate for sexual health and sexual education, improving the wellbeing and lives of her audiences. 

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#118 – Coming Out – Dr. Christopher Belous

Dr. Belous is an Associate Professor, the Director of the Couple and Family Therapy Center at Purdue University Northwest, and a practicing therapist. He is a certified sex therapist and educator, a certified family life educator, and a certified gay-affirmative psychotherapist. He is on the editorial board of the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy and the American Journal of Family Therapy. He is the founding chairperson of the Couples and Intimate Relationships Topical Interest Network and is the treasurer of the Queer and Trans Affirmative Network for the AAMFT. He is a sex and sexuality researcher focusing on social justice and couple and family therapy education and supervision. He has over 20 published works, has given more than 40 presentations at national and international conferences, and has completed 7 different research grants.  

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#117: Medical Approaches to Women’s Sexual Concerns with Dr. Ashley Fuller

After accumulating nine years of experience working as an obstetrician and gynecologist at Swedish OB/GYN Specialists First Hill, Ashley Fuller transformed her practice into gynecology and sexual health. She claims that she was better able to pursue her passion for women’s sexual health by removing the obstetrics branch of her practice. In her practice she offers checkups, gynecological surgery, and regular exams including pap smears and STD screenings. She aims to help women with sexual and gynecological problems evaluate treatment options and make the best choices for their needs and lifestyles. 

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#116 – Sexual Authenticity – Domina Franco

Domina Franco is a New York City based sex educator, coach, and writer. Franco completed her Masters in Human Sexuality at Widener University and helps clients of all genders and orientations clarify, explore and enhance their sex lives. She guest lectures at universities around the country and provides one-on-one coaching as well as trainings and workshops that cover pleasure exploration, empowerment, kink, and alternative relationship models.  

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#115 – Creating Relationship Satisfaction – Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh

Creating Relationship Satisfaction

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh is a global thought leader in psychosexual therapy, couple counseling, and social psychology. A former member of the International Federation of Journalists, Dr. Sara combined her journalism experience with her expertise in sexuality and relationships, to host a program called Whispers for the BBC World Service. The show received the BBC’s Innovation of the Year Award in 2007 and continues to gather Farsi-speaking viewers around the world. In 2007, she earned the World Association for Sexual Health runner-up award for Excellence and Innovation for her human development work. Harper’s Bazaar named her as one of the Best Love Doctors, and DatingAdvice.com named her one of the 10 Best Sex and Dating Experts in 2015.  

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#114 – Permission; Finding Your Libido – Lauren White

Lauren is a qualified sexologist and permission-granter who helps her clients reduce stress and reinvigorate their sex lives. Through her writing, online classes, and one-on-one sessions, she helps high-achieving, introverted women release their physical and psychological blocks to liberate their libidos for sex and life. She is the author of Permission: Personal Liberation for Switched-on Women.  

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#113 – Premature Ejaculation and Treatment – Jeff Abraham

Jeff Abraham is a man dedicated to doing the right thing. After winning a court case against Hyundai who asked him to actively discriminate against female and African American candidates in 1999, he moved to Promescent as CEO, a company founded by his late friend, Dr. Ronald Gilbert.  Jeff has continued his legacy by fulfilling his companies dreams in his honor.  In addition to this Jeff has spent the last decade advocating sexual health and wellness by educating the public on the importance of intimacy and how to resolve common sexual dysfunctions. 
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#112 – Hip Injuries Can Cause Sexual Pain with Dr. Ben Domb

Hip Injuries Can Cause Sexual Pain

Benjamin Domb, M.D. is the Founder, Medical Director, and Orthopedic Surgeon at American Hip Institute & Orthopedic Specialists. His group pioneers advanced, comprehensive, and non-invasive treatments in a mission to cure hip pain. AHI uses Hip Arthroscopy, Robotics, Resurfacing, and Regenerative Medicine to treat hip pain in their Chicago office. Now Benjamin is reaching out to discuss the ways that hip pain can create and contribute to pain during sex. 
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#111 – Advocating for LGBTQ Youth in School – Michelle Belke 

Advocating for LGBTQ Youth in School 

Michelle Belke currently works as a Mental Health School Counsellor at an independent school in Metro Detroit, Michigan. She has a part-time private practice in psychotherapy and sex therapy in Birmingham, Michigan. In her school setting, Michelle does a lot to make students feel comfortable coming to her and discussing sexuality and sexual identity, such as decorating her office with pride symbols and doing outreach through the school, and even setting up the school’s first Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) and that a surprisingly large amount of her work for the school deals with LGBTQ+ issues and concerns. 
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#110 – Your Conscious Sexual Self – Melissa Fritchle

The Conscious Sexual Self 

My guest is Melissa Fritchle. She has developed The Conscious Sexual Self Workbook, she is a mindfulness meditation teacher, a Holistic Sex Therapist, is an educator and workshop leader, and that’s just a few of her qualifications. 

Within this episode, she shares a lot of wisdom about communication between partners, mindfulness, and exploring sexuality. Really important work that Melissa is doing, and she has a lot of great things to say on the subject. Listen in!

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#109 – Sleep, Snoring and Sex – Lindsay Tucker

Sleep, Snoring, and Sex 

My guest today is Lindsay Tucker. She is the founder of artfulsleep.com and is on a mission for better sleep for all. When managing a snoring partner, she has a fresh perspective on the challenges that can arise. To her, instead of getting rid of the disruptions, she teaches the powerful concept of accepting the disruptions and becoming a better, stronger sleeper regardless. Within this episode, she shares anecdotes and expands upon the idea of becoming a more resilient sleeper. 
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#108 – Out of Control Sexual Behavior – Doug Braun-Harvey

 Out of Control Sexual Behavior 

My guest, the sexuality educator, author, trainer, and psychotherapist Doug Braun Harvey is here to share his knowledge on an important distinction in the sexual health realm: Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB). Within this interview, there are discussions about classifications of sexual health, advice for psychotherapists on how to let patients present their own vision of sexual health, and an overall fruitful discussion on the nuances of the field. 

Spoken eloquently and drawing from his wide experience in the field, Doug Braun-Harvey makes this a must-listen.   Continue reading “#108 – Out of Control Sexual Behavior – Doug Braun-Harvey”

#107 – Sexological Bodywork – Charlie Glickman

Sexological Bodywork 

My guest, Charlie Glickman, has been a sex educator for over 25 years. But it wasn’t until about 15 years ago that he realized the power of bodywork for managing and working through sexual shame. After solely teaching and writing as a sex educator, Charlie experienced firsthand just how powerful somatic therapy can be in a sexual shame context. So, he then developed his own course and practice around that discovery. This episode traces the advent of his important work in the field and moves beyond that to deliver practical insights and knowledge on the topic. A really, really important topic that I hope you get a lot from. Thanks for listening! 

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#106 – Pelvic Floor Function after Childbirth – Kathe Wallace

Pelvic Floor Function after Childbirth 

My guest is the author of Reviving Your Sex Life After Childbirth, a pioneer for diagnosing and treating pelvic floor dysfunction, and also a practicing physical therapist who specializes in the pelvic floor, specifically. Overall, she is one of the leading authorities on the PF and has a wealth of knowledge to share in this episode.  

She talks about treatment, what to expect during the “4th trimester”, and common ways of regaining sex drive after birth through pelvic floor physical intervention. Listen along!  Continue reading “#106 – Pelvic Floor Function after Childbirth – Kathe Wallace”

#105 – Trans Sexualities – Lucie Fielding

Trans Sexualities 

My guest Lucie Fielding identifies as a nonbinary femme. She is a Resident in Counseling, where she practices under supervision as a counselor in Charlottesville, Virginia. In addition to her professional education and experience in Counseling, Lucie has a PhD in Literature, which has been invaluable for analyzing the narratives and power dynamics at play within our society. Those same cultural scripts have very real socio-political circumstances for LGBTQ and nonbinary communities, especially. 

Within this episode, she talks about the importance of finding the Embodied Sexual Self, of Intimate Justice, and a wide range of concepts that can only improve the quality of understanding for all who want to improve their sexual knowledge. This interview was a treat, and I know you’ll enjoy it.   Continue reading “#105 – Trans Sexualities – Lucie Fielding”

#104 – Recovering your sexuality after cancer – Tara Galeano

Recovering your sexuality after cancer 

My guest is a certified sex therapist and sexologist with a lot of important information to share on sex therapy for women with cancer. She is the creator of the class Rediscovering My Body After Cancer and has a book and online class in the works based around the class.  

When I asked her how she got started in the field, she says that she had always enjoyed teaching in a group setting, and providing cancer support really became a great opportunity to do impactful work in the field. 

Soon she would develop a class that women could come to for answers, and things have taken off from there, resulting in a large number of women who are better equipped to navigate the often disorienting world of cancer. This is such an important topic, so please listen along. 
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#103 – Finding Your Yes – Pamela Madsen

Finding Your Yes 

Pamela Madsen joins me on this episode about the importance of finding your YES.   Pamela explains the conditioning women undergo, which rewards them for saying no and ignoring their desires. By 50, Pamela had tried over 300 diets and is therefore very familiar with this topic, having had first-hand experience. 

Pamela is founder and CEO of Back to the Body: Sensuous Retreats for Women, providing women with permission to find pleasure. Retreats are held in exotic locations all over the world, allowing participants to immerse with powerful sisterhood and a safe and supportive staff. Pamela has been an activist for women for over 30 years and was the Founder and first Executive Director of The American Fertility Association where she worked for reproductive freedom for all women. She has appeared in over 3000 media outlets including Oprah, CNN, NY Times, The Huffington Post and countless others. Tune in for an eye-opening episode! 

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#102 – Medical Treatment for Menopause – Dr. Rebecca Dunsmoor-Su

Medical Treatments for Menopause 

Dr. Rebecca Dunsmoor works in Seattle, Washington as an OBGYN specializing in diagnosing and treating unwelcome symptoms of menopause. The North American Menopause Society acknowledges her as a certified menopause practitioner and educator. On her website, renuvagyn.com, Dr. Dunsmoor maintains a growing collection of menopause-related information and runs an online women’s clinic to assist patients remotely. Dr. Dunsmoor also contributes to genneve.com, improving their impressive collection of knowledge and resources on menopause and midlife.  
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#101 – [Personal Story] – Healing from Abuse – Toni

Healing From Abuse

 My guest, whom I call Toni in this episode, is here to share a personal story of abuse and eventual transformation. Within the interview, she shares a lot of difficult episodes and traumas in her life in a brave and transparent way. You will get a lot out of this episode will learn that despite the hardest upbringing, there can be transformation, growth, and healing along the way. Please listen along and support Toni as she shares her story here. 
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#100- Body Kindness – Rebecca Scritchfield

Body Kindness 

My guest Rebecca Scritchfield is an exercise physiologist, nutritionist, author of Body Kindness and host of the Body Kindness podcast. She is a strong advocate for body positivity and healthy standards for eating, living, and self-evaluation.  

Rebecca poses the question in this interview: Isn’t your life all that much better when you aren’t worried about the standards of society? Through love, connection, and care, she shares how to be fully committed to yourself and how to have better sex through body kindness. Really valuable advice within. Enjoy! 
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#99 – From Sexual Madness to Mindfulness – Jennifer Gunsaullus

From Sexual Madness to Mindfulness 

My guest is fresh off a book tour for her new book From Madness to Mindfulness: Reinventing Sex for Women. Her name is Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus and she is a sociologist and sex coach with a wealth of knowledge on sexuality and mindfulness. Within this talk she deftly connects her term ‘sexual madness’ with mindfulness, which is an extension of her book and professional work with her clients.  

If you wondering how mindfulness can help you with sexual desire, body image, and to achieve better, well-rounded sex, then listen along and learn. You won’t regret stopping by! 

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#98 – BDSM and Kink – Tamara Pincus

BDSM and Kink 

My guest today is Tamara Pincus, who is an AASECT certified sex therapist, an advocate for BDSM and polyamory, and an overall celebrator of the diverse BDSM community. In this episode, she breaks down the fundamentals of BDSM, gives advice on how to start and practice safely, as well as talks about trauma and dissociation and other important topics. As she reminds us, BDSM is really common, so if you’re just getting started, curious, indifferent, or have been practicing for many years, this episode is for you. Enjoy!  

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