#4: Dr. Joe Kort – “Is My Husband Gay?” | Male Sexual Fluidity

What are we talking about? Men who have sex with men, have done it in the past or who are interested in it, but still identify as straight or mostly straight. However, their behavior or their interest makes their partner wonder about their sexuality.

Listen to “#4: Dr. Joe Kort – “Is My Husband Gay?” | Male Sexual Fluidity” on Spreaker.

Sometimes someone will wonder if their husband is gay because they have no interest in sex with them. Or they don't show a strong libido or a high sex drive.

Or, maybe their partner has had sex with men, either recently or in the distant past or maybe they've got an interest in them. And it really makes them wonder, “Is my husband gay?” Seems like a reasonable question.

But the truth is that sexuality is on a continuum. There's fluidity in our lives and our behavior is different than our identity. So you can't say just because somebody has done something that it defines who they are. You have a stable sexual orientation throughout your lifetime, but you may have romantic or sexual episodes long your path with someone outside of your sexual identity.

Sometimes these can be frightening and confusing. Especially since as children and adolescents, we are only given permission to know that there is heterosexuality. People who discover a different sexual identity usually are much older.

Dr. Kort describes his four questions that can help lead you to discover your own, personal sexual identity.

He also explains what may be happening with these incidents and experiences, and how this can be an opportunity to have a conversation you might not ever have.

Dr. Joe Kort is a licensed sex and relationship therapist. He specializes in sex therapy, LGBTQ issues, and Imago Relationship Therapy.

He is the author of four books: 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives: Revised and Updated, 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Real Love, LGBTQ Clients in Therapy: Clinical Issues and Treatment Strategies, and Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: A Guide for Women Concerned about Their Men.

A regular blogger for Psychology Today and The Huffington Post, he’s on the teaching faculty of the University of Michigan’s Sexual Health Certificate Program. Dr. Kort is also in partnership with Modern Sex Therapy Institute offering an LGBTQIA Affirmative Certification for helping professionals working with this population.

Dr. Joe Kort: http://www.joekort.com
Book – Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: https://www.amazon.com/My-Husband-Gay-Straight-Concerned/dp/1442223251/

One Reply to “#4: Dr. Joe Kort – “Is My Husband Gay?” | Male Sexual Fluidity”

  1. Hello,
    I stumbled across your page as a woman who has been questioning her sexual orientation for about 6 years. I might be a lesbian I believe although I have an anxiety disorder so it is hard to tell. Do you ever deal with any women coming in with the same issues? I have tried your four point test to determine if I should really be questioning my sexuality. I have been diagnosed with OCD on the topic. I have ambiguous memories of my childhood experiences to be honest where I can’t really tell if it was attraction or not to the same sex , I have a bunch for the opposite sex and one vague one for same sex. Also I don’t know if I am homophobic either. The beach test I cannot really tell because I ruminate about it with no clear answer- my anxiety sticks on the women’s bodies though- checking I believe. And who I want to come home to is the same problem, I honestly cannot tell. Like it would be nice to come home to a female friend because I like the company of my friend and people to talk to, but I don’t think it is sexual/ romantic.

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